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I guess the problem I have with this is that in other toolsets, I can achieve exactly the result I want without compromising for the tool, so Rails and similar frameworks feel restrictive in this way.

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Perhaps you should do a bit more reading on these tools. With life experience you will learn that these tools really help you get your work done, and right now you're likely solving what they have already solved for you. Rails is a highly modular architecture with some sane implementations by default, but I promise you there are many pluggable pieces that exist that do just about everything you could ever dream of.

I don't like the suggestion that if I don't care for rails I must be using it wrong. I have worked with many technologies over the years and I know which ones I like and which ones I don't.

I suspect it is an issue of preference. I am sure it is possible to be productive using Rails, but the interface style and overall structure is a bit heavy handed for my taste. I prefer tools which stay out of my way and I'm not terribly fond of working inside an "ecosystem".

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