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29athrowaway

Among certifications, the most absurd one is the Scrum one.

A random guy with no exposure to software whatsoever can spend a few hours become a Certified Scrum Master (tm).

Unlike CSM, there are certifications that matter, have weight and at least have basic prerequisites.

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It's not Certified Scrum Master™, it's Certified Scrum Master®. That trademark is registered.

I really feel like they missed out the opportunity to create Scrum Lords.

Scrumdog Millionaire.

My wife and I were talking at dinner about a problem she was having with a Scrum Master at work, and our son, who was probably about 12 at the time said, “Scrum Master? That sounds like something a third-grader would call another third grader as an insult! You’re such a … Scrum Master!”

And I’m not sure he was that far off.

Let's register "Certified Scrumbag": a person that has no value outside scrum tasks, has no ability to provide a technical assessment on anything, has no ability to implement anything, has no ability to make a rational decision that performs better than throwing a dice.

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