Hacker News Reader

Comment by zebnyc | Hacker News Reader

Honest question: Do folks feel warm fuzzies when they do something "good / +ve"? Frankly unless I went out of my way to do something significant, I don't feel anything. Asking as there might be some of that going on here.

For e.g., around Christmas here in SF, I was a at a shopping mall parking lot waiting for my wife to return. I noticed a man counting a few bills of cash. He counted and then turned to head to his car. As he turned he dropped a couple of bills. I just shouted out to him to bring it to my attention so he could get it. I don't feel anything about the incident and would be hard pressed to use it as a barometer of my character.

View on HN

Likely a few dollars means nothing to you so the act of pointing the nearly lost dollars is a similar small task (not withstanding the possibility the act could have a profound effect on the recipient depending on their situation).

When I was younger and we were struggling hard, we found a wallet in a store loaded with green bills. That money would have had immediate, real, positive impact for us, like gas money and food that we did not have. We turned in the wallet and did not bother counting the bills. The cashier might have pocketed the money, who knows. But hopefully the owner of the wallet got their stuff back. I think that act does cast a barometer on my and my wife's character. We did what was "right" -- the property was not ours and not ours to take. Did we feel good about it? Nope! It was just doing the right thing even though there was a touch of pain to it.

Why did you give the wallet to a random person you had no reason to trust when you could have looked at the address on the ID in the wallet and taken it there yourself?

Solid question. We did not have a vehicle to deliver nor a way to pay postage to mail them their wallet. Also, naive youth - we just hoped the store clerk would do the right thing when the person came back looking for their wallet.

I don't. I do "good" things because that's the way I was raised. I actually dislike getting thanked or anything that draws attention to the "good" thing I did because it seems so needless.

Occasionally I'll feel a twinge of guilt if I could've helped out and didn't but usually I do it out of habit.

It's more that I feel bad if I don't.

A bit like when my dog begs for food, I'm not happy I fed him some pizza crust but I feel bad if I don't. It's self imposed guilt in both cases.

Earlier this week I spent 20 minutes following around a stray dog on my way home while on the phone with security so they could find and help him out. It's not warm fuzzies, it's just doing the right thing, like throwing trash in a bin. I feel obligated to uphold the social contract, even though many don't.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com