2. They are a lot more durable, and less fragile than you'll initially feel. I stressed a ton over our first child. I tried not to be a helicopter parent, but still, in relative terms, every health issue stressed me out a lot. In fact, I stressed so much during the first weeks of our first child's life that I got stress-induced shingles! For the 2nd and 3rd, I'm much more relaxed and I simply have less time and attention to hover over everything that happens to them. Let them fall, get hurt, etc - they can handle it and they learn from it. Injuries, scars, etc all heal for the most part. Obviously this does not apply to truly serious conditions of incidents, but those are rare relative to your worrying.
Another result of #1 is that when faced with a problem....try everything.
Baby not sleeping?
Go to bed earlier...or later. Don't sweat what works for others, just try things and accept that you're probably just going to bump into solutions accidentally...or they will just grow out of it.
And at the end of it, you have a family to grow old with, and it is worth it.
But that is also the key to remember - it is not your goal as parents to raise children, nor to control who they are. Instead, it is your goal to raise adults, who can direct their own lives successfully. Their childhood and adolescence is just the learning curve you are helping them get through so they can go be their own person.
2. They grow up really fast. Capture all moments that you can. Take tons of pictures when they are a baby. First 3 years, they will change every month physically a lot faster than after 3.
3. Plan things but don't worry if you mess up and never blame yourself. Kids make u do that. Some things will happen that you cannot control. Deal with it. Don't over stress about planning too much. Almost always, it is not your fault. Just the nature of how kids are.
4. If you have multiple children, don't compare them with each other. Related to #1.
5. If you think life is hard now, you have no idea whats coming to you mostly in a good way :). Kids will test your patience and no matter what, you have to deal with them. My kids changed my sleeping habits for the better. Don't wanna wake up at 6:30 ? Sorry your kid is awake and u HAVE to.
6. Most important for me: Kids are one the best experiences you can have. Don't worry about the negatives. It is a great feeling and experience of life. This is not to shit on people who don't want kids. I respect that. Kids are hard. But personal opinion, they are worth it. I can have the worst day at work/life but when I see my kids, it lightens me up. All the best.
Check inside your shoes before you put them on.
Applesauce stops loose stools, apple juice causes it.
My comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21053962
Even well into my twenties I still don't really have any interest in kids or long term relationships for that matter. I've never really been good at them and attribute a lot of that to my parents making fun of me at a young age whenever I was "dating" someone etc.
The biggest factor for me is having spent years getting my financial life and mental health in check. The idea of doing something like having a kid and throwing both of those aspects of my life into oncoming traffic seems unwise. I've also had good friends seem to fundamentally change in very negative ways after having kids. Some have already been divorced and largely will never have a life they enjoy again.
I'm delighted to have one now.
Just use birth control.
Was that meant to be intentional subtlety?
The most stressful times are when you need to make decisions but you can't find information, or probably more to the point, you can find heaps of information, but none of it makes it easier to make make the decision. You just have to make one.
Cherish it though, time doesn't go back.
In the end, it worked out ok, and we got through the most demanding and difficult years. It was worth it.
Many women have post-partum depression (ie. mental illness.)
A lot of relationships never recover.
Do not have a nexus in California or you can be garnished $2,000+/month for child support (plus legal costs, of course.)
My kid doesn't sleep well, and we (parents) consequently don't sleep so well. Not much we could have done about that except try not to worry about it.
Your personalised autonomously will reduce. You may have to Shelve some hobbies and activities for a while. That can be tough, even if you expect it.
Try to be easy on yourself and your partner. Try and socialise when you can. Take turns getting naps and rest when you can.
If you can get help from friends or relatives do, but sometimes you need a break from helpful advice too.
Every phase, be it nice or stressful, is very short.
My subjective perception of time has accelerated _so_ much after having my daughter.
When they are old enough and you are taking them to the park, give a count down til time to leave. "Hey kiddo, we are leaving in 5 minutes", "... 3 minutes", "... 1 minute...", "ok, time to go.". There will still likely be protesting, but it is smoother than what they will perceive as an unwarranted attack on their fun when, out of the blue, it is "time to go."
When a kid is superficially hurt (scrapped knee, bumped elbow, etc), all their attention can go to the injury. Worse is when all your attention goes there and _you_ get scared. They see that mom/dad is scared, so, oh shit, this _must_ be bad. It is very important to act casual about most minor (or even major) injuries. "Oh wow, look at that! haha, you got yourself a scrape! Well done!". For removing their attention from their injury, you need to refocus their attention. "Oh, yeah, look at that scrape. Yeah, I know it hurts. Hey, which rock did you scrape it on? Was it this one? Let's find the rock. Oh, there it is. What color is that rock? Can you see anything else that is that color? What about that over there? That is the same color, yeah? Ok. Well, let's get rid of that nasty rock. How about you toss it in those bushes over there so it doesn't hurt anyone else." Or you can just be silly. Silly adults are a great way to make a kid laugh and forget what they were upset about.
Little kids love to help. They will be slow and terrible at helping. It is critical that they feel they are helping.
I suggest avoiding allowance tied to chores. Chores should be done because they help the family and everyone needs to help the family.
Kids do well with routines. Family reading time every night at 7:30, etc.
Your goal should be the raising of capable adults. Give them autonomy and trust. However, you can expect what you inspect. Especially as they are young, you have to inspect regularly. Expect them to do their homework, brush their teeth, clean their room do their chores, etc. When they are really young, lots of check ups (daily?). When they are older, less frequent.
Kids, like everyone, learn through mistakes. Give them the ability to make mistakes and learn from them.
Magic eraser can erase sharpie from painted walls. They should be the one to clean it up.
Kids are smarter than you know, or think you know. They are full humans, just with lack of experience and impulse control.
Kids will have different ways of learning than you did.
What kids want more than anything is your time.