Comment by xenihn | Hacker News Reader

Comment by xenihn | Hacker News Reader

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How to become more interesting (as a guy in the bay area):

- Make (significantly) more money (than most other guys in the bay area)

- Be more attractive (than most other guys in the bay area)

Making $120k in the bay area obviously isn't impressive. Neither is being fit without being on gear. It's all about the other guys around you. Both quality and quantity. These things would make you interesting in other parts of the country, or outside of the USA. Not here, though.

Now how about $500k? You can afford a starter home, a nice car, custom-tailored clothing. Plastic surgery if you think you need it.

You're presumably good at something that you're passionate about if you're being paid that much, even if it's "just" software engineering, and that's something people like. You can even date other software engineers who will be impressed by your skills and knowledge. Yeah the gender ratio sucks, but this is also the best place in the world to make your dual-FAANG-engineer-income power-couple dream come true.

Come up with something that isn't (video/board)gaming, cycling, bouldering, or photography, that you do maybe once a month and say it's your hobby. Yoga is a decent choice.

Grats, you're now interesting. Assuming you don't have any physical or psychological dealbreakers that can't be overlooked no matter how rich or ripped you get, that is.

Your definition of interesting might be the most interesting thing in this comment.

I would not say that any of that makes you particularly interesting. Some of it might make you attractive to certain people, but I think that's quite different from what was originally intended by "interesting" in this thread.

"Say it's your hobby"... I suggest actually finding a hobby. Because it will make you happier, not because it will make you "look interesting".

>but I think that's quite different from what was originally intended by "interesting" in this thread.

Is it? Being interesting is a competition. You are competing for the interest/attention of others. How interesting you are depends on how much better or worse you rank compared to others, in regards to the factors that make a person interesting. Relationships, friendships, jobs -- it's all competition for limited resources.

>"Say it's your hobby"... I suggest actually finding a hobby. Because it will make you happier, not because it will make you "look interesting".

Obviously you should have hobbies for the sake of personal fulfillment, and I don't see what would make you think I feel otherwise. But your hobbies are also part of your personal brand, and a factor in making you interesting (or boring), so it's important that you project as someone who has interesting hobbies (whether they actually qualify as hobbies or not, depending on the time and effort/money that you invest). Right? People list their hobbies on dating profiles. People (usually) talk about their hobbies on first dates. It's not uncommon for hobbies to be a discussion during job interviews.

>Some of it might make you attractive to certain people

Yes, hopefully (but not assuredly) attractive to certain people that you want to attract in the first place.

Your view of the (lack of) intrinsic value in the enjoyment of hobbies is off putting. Maybe try a hobby that you enjoy just for the heck of it rather than to check a box on your personal brand? Guaranteed that being legitimately interested in something outside of work will make you more attractive to a potential member of your dating pool. It doesn’t even matter what it is necessarily!

Not sure how you got that impression. I like my hobbies. Your presented hobbies != your actual hobbies. I'm just sharing advice that will potentially better your odds.

The entire concept of "presented hobbies" is what we are taking issue with.

What wwould this better your odds for? Short-term dating success perhaps. I'm pretty sure there are better long-term strategies for happiness.

Be yourself, like what you like (unashamedly), and you will likely attract people into your life who like those same things, and indeed you.

My point exactly.

What do you have against short-term dating?

So shallow, where do I start.

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