Oh, this is just a tongue-in-cheek joke; java has really cool stuff, I actually code in java every morning and I really like the JVM and the JIT, without it, clojure, jruby and jython wouldn't exist, and jruby is way cooler than Cruby!
You're right, we can't be saying that a language sucks because it doesn't look cool in some coding styles. Is like trying to do fancy OOP in pure scheme or common lisp without the CLOS!