The very first thing I thought about when I saw the headline was Hans Reiser's crime. The first thing I then expected in the comments was a lengthy discussion about that. I am fairly certain that this is fully in line with how most people react.
I don't see how your proposed hypothetical following a name change would take hold. I don't think a name change would be perceived as "concealing", just understandably moving away from a name that has become unfortunate. I think people are more surprised that they haven't.
is it really that difficult to attempt empathy?
imagine being one of his kids, growing up to become a developer, and then having to work on code that intersects with reiserfs.
since kids are in Russia i highly doubt that.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/sympathy-empat...
the implication is that even though i haven't had my mother murdered i can simulate the experience and thereby relate (to an extent) to someone that has and make decisions with those insights in mind.
Edit: I just realized that what you probably meant is that if it's never happened to me then I can't genuinely be concerned. I didn't even know that that was something people believed. Interesting. Why would anyone pretend to be concerned for someone else's wellbeing?