The diagnosis however is available for retrieval via industry standard connector - OBD2.
Eventually had a redneck guy working out of the back of his pickup truck have a go at it. After hearing about the history he spent hours unplugging, cleaning, and replugging every single wire connection and socket. And the light stayed off.
Are you sure he didn't just leave that particular light unplugged?
My car just threw a CEL and it was because I put low octane gas in. I knew this but also found this by using the handy Forscan app
Edit: All of them will fail you -> All of them can fail you. Not all codes will trigger an immediate fail in CA smog testing anyways, depending on if they are manufacturer specific, or what they effect. I passed my most recent smog with a few codes.