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I should have added that I'd also prefer mandatory typing and natively compiled code.

Elixir/Erlang/BEAM has a lot going for it but it's not as general purpose as I'd like

There's at least one other way to read that comment.

Is there an 'Elixir' of Haskell? Maybe someone should write it. What would it look like if you stole the good bits from a framework/library/standard lib in another language and wrote them in Haskell?

There is an attempt at it, yes: https://wiki.haskell.org/Cloud_Haskell

Many languages have some variation of Erlang’s processes and/or distribution available as a library, but the key features like live inspection, code reload, or strong isolation between lightweight processes can’t really be done without language runtime support.

There's also some work pushing Haskell to perform better (more like Elixir) in networking/concurrency applications: http://www.well-typed.com/blog/2019/10/nonmoving-gc-merge/

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