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Comment by throwaway72873 | Hacker News Reader

I disagree. Keeping focus is a basic biological function of brain. Healthy boundaries and respect are necessary for that. If your "partner" prevents that, relationship is toxic and will probably get even worse over time.

In other words, it is better to be alone, than with someone who ruins your mind and sleep.

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Well don't have any kids then.

So from an evolutionary standpoint, focus might not be that important after all ;).

I have kids. Again it is about setting boundaries and respect.

Most people make mistake they start compromising very early for no reason, and when things get tough, they just get buried.

So how do you set the boundry when your baby starts crying in the middle of the night, or when your kid throws up in the bed? Let the wife handle it?

Both are orthognal. Prentending the contrary is just a way to find pride in deciding to be a geek who has no sex.

It is 2019, you do not need a relationship to have a sex.

Tell me more. How is this achieved? Do you mean sex workers? Or pornography? Or a real doll? Or what?

Because if I've learned one thing in my life it is that there is no sex without a relationship. Everything else is a sliding scale of masturbation.

The desire to pretend otherwise is a cause of significant misery for many people.

You do if you're under 35, male and ~<70th percentile in attractiveness. Which is a massive proportion of the tech world.

found the incel

The point iz that you dont live to be focused. At best you are supposed to focus sporadically to have better life.

But then you are not keeping focus of your relationship. Focus is not relegated to just your day job, you need to work and thus focus on your relationship consistently too

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