Ask HN: Balancing my ego/beliefs against company's | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Balancing my ego/beliefs against company's

2 pointsdoggomoney5 comments

I recently started a job as a full stack software developer in the midwest, after years of freelancing and being entrepreneurial.

The company I work for is a small firm. They have the expectations of a traditional company, whereas I am heavily influenced by SV lifestyle and thinking. Ex: everyone shows up at 9, leaves at 5, where I don't really care for timeliness (I don't interface with clients, and don't have colleagues dependent on my presence). My priority is the quality and timeliness of my work.

This has lead to minor frictions where my manager has mentioned that my lateness "sets a bad example" and asked that I show at 9. Fair enough; but as someone who sees themselves as hard working and independent, being told what to do bothers me.

My non-tech friends do not give me much sympathy; they are used to treating work as a necessary evil, and their expectations of their employers are as such.

It is my desire to not become an arrogant, entitled brat. How do I balance my personal beliefs about work with the company's? The work itself is fine, the colleagues are fine, its just these little cultural things. I am lucky enough to be able to walk away if I need to, but I feel that is the ultimate brat move.

Latitude to set your own terms is earned, not demanded. If you demonstrate overwhelming value to the company they will do anything to keep you, including letting you set your own schedule. This is laid out much better than I just said it in Cal Newport's book: So Good They Can't Ignore You https://www.amazon.com/dp/1455509124/

Until then, "play the game" and over-deliver. Your only other alternative is to return to freelancing if setting your own schedule is that vital a prerequisite.

No matter what you do, you will almost certainly seem arrogant or entitled. The only counter-balance to this is to make sure that if you're late to arrive, you are the last one to leave. That shows that you're devoted and willing to work whatever hours necessary.

Since the bad example has already been brought up, you're going to be fighting an uphill battle to redeem yourself. You may want to start negotiating a different shift that still puts in the hours but allows you to come in later and leave later. Another idea is to push remote work and stress that you aren't customer facing and that you'd be more productive working from home anyway.

Companies that are reluctant to take this approach will sometimes allow work from home X days / week so that they can see you're still producing so that's another option you can try if they flat-out turn down fully-remote.

I would tread very carefully. As a midwesterner who has also worked in SV, you would likely come off as that arrogant brat. I'd mentally frame it in those cultural terms rather than beliefs: When in Rome do as the Romans do.

I feel that this may take its toll on me. Some days I'm sprinting hard and getting a lot of work done, and I'm exhausted by 4-4:30pm. But I can't leave early because its against norms. This builds resentment in me because the work is getting done, but I have to sit around and burn time for superficial appearances.

You found it, right at the end of the post. It is a cultural issue above all else and it is a common difference. It's not a question of good/bad or entitlement. Just decide what type of culture you are OK working for, given the trade-offs. If you don't have to live in a $4000 a month, two bedroom apartment, or a 2 hour commute, or 12% state income tax, maybe it's worth adjusting. Maybe not.

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