Show HN: my new project, an anti-snub dating site
secretpoke.com
secretpoke.com
Point being be careful with your error messages they might give away your users anonymity.
Thank to your twisted mind :p
Thats why I love HN you always find your way around ;)
The less data you give to users about state that isn't necessarily theirs, the better.
Maybe HN can work out a good solution collectively? I can only think of a secondary authentication piece, but then that's also possible to be forgotten.
It doesn't really solve the problem of figuring out which email address you used to create your account, but it allows you to provide feedback to the user that the account does/does not exist.
An alternative solution would be to just email whatever account you enter on the website, with the appropriate wording depending whether or not they have an existing account, but this approach seems like it'd be too easy to spam random people.
Though, I'm not sure if you can get e-mail from these, and making the users enter their e-mail after login would degrade the user experience.
If someone wants to reset their password, after they enter their email address say "Thanks. If that email address is in our database we will send a reset link."
Coincidentally, this is why I have a separate email address for any site that anyone may look down upon. Figuring out what sort of services you sign up for online is usually as trivial as trying to sign up a new account with your email address.
This is also why if my site enforces 1 user per email address, I make sure I do that check only if all other information is valid. In comparison, most sites let you enter a bunch of invalid information but a valid email address and will happily let you know that person already has an account. If you have to enter fully valid information, theres some risk you will sign the user up and let them know someone is using their email address for things.
This site is a cool idea. I'm sure you'll get plenty of users and some legitimate mutual crushes. But a comprehensive solution to the shy-person-A-likes-shy-person-B chicken-and-egg conundrum this is not. Shy person A or B would be much better served by learning to take a chance and just go for it.
Given how many people seem to use the missed connections section of Craigslist (which seems pretty hopeless), I bet these are higher odds :-)
For example, somebody forwarded me that stupid "Bill Gates will give you money if you forward this email" message, and they commented, "This probably is not real, but just in case it is, I am forwarding this. I am really strapped for cash and will take any chance." This desperation, be it for money, for companionship, or for any other strong desire, is ripe ground for snake oil. And the snake oil is that much stronger if it works -sometimes-... like hoping you win the Power Ball to solve your debt problems and seeing that there are average people like you who are winning it.
One of the best quotes I've seen in a while.
I wanted to show you our new project: SecretPoke.com .
As big shy people ourselves and with Valentine's day coming up, we wanted an easy, anonymous and fun way to reach out to our crushes :)
We would love your feedback as much on the concept than on the execution (name, copy, design,...). We built it in less than 10 days and we are ready to modify the website quickly to take your feedback into account!
I also hope that SecretPoke will come handy to some of you ;)
As a thank you for your feedback, and for all what HN taught me during the past year, here is a code to have 3 more crushes for free: thankyouhn . You can enter it on the homepage when you are logged in.
Thank again, we are eager to hear what you think !
Dont forget to use the coupon: thankyouhn to get 3 more crushes for free :)
Keep the feedback coming we looooove it !
1. I wouldn't feel very optimistic using such a site because I assume the emails you send will seem like spam and will be deleted by the recipients without much thought.
2. Using this site makes one vulnerable to cruel trolling. Imagine three or four people getting together, "secret poking" people they know, and sharing the results for shits and giggles. If I really need this site, am I brave enough to expose myself to that?
Personally, I couldn't use this service, because I'm beyond the age where it's acceptable to need it. I do feel like part of the target audience, though (especially ten-years-ago me) and am happy to be being served.
Adults who act that way are apparently rare and not well-liked, but odds are you know a few. You teach a child to be wary when approached by a stranger offering unsolicited favors, but not to be afraid of approaching strangers when they need help. The same principle applies when you are contacted anonymously over the internet and asked to reveal intimate emotional secrets.
I agree that becoming withdrawn and inhibited is not the best defense (the best defense is simply being someone other people will stick up for) but the site is targeted at people who cope with social fears by being extremely risk-averse. If you have to be comfortable with the risk of exposure and ridicule in order to use the site, then what's the point, except to be a fun flirty thing for cool people for fifteen minutes? The target users need some assurance that the site delivers on its promise of a less-risky way of revealing their feelings about somebody. Perhaps you're right that they shouldn't, but they do, and that's what matters.
Thank you for your feedback.
To answer your remarks:
1. We added a copy of the email we are sending in the frontpage (click on "what will they receive?") so you can see by yourself that it is a cute little mail. We are monitoring strongly the pourcentages of the crushes and we are testing some variations to know what perform best. You are right we need to communicate trust and we work toward that.
Although if she delete the email there is no arm for you as your anonymity is still preserved.
2. People are generally not that bad, I cant assure you that it won't happened. But SecretPoke only offer 3 free crushes so it should limit the secret poking ring .
I hope you will be served and that it will be with a person for whom you have a crush ;) Give it a try ... Life is full of good surprises :)
I'm going to guess that some recepients will start entering all their classmates one by one until system will yield a match. Not because they have a crush on the whole class, but because they would want to figure out who the person on the other end is. For example, I know that I would've been mildly disturbed receiving an email from a site like yours, and would've wanted to sort things out.
Particularly since the "hint" given narrows it down to married people, people who've moved overseas, and people I can't even get along with for a 5 minute conversation...
Call me suspicious, but wouldn't this be a great way to gather email addresses for mail marketing! (Almost as good as Facebook...)
On the plus side, I thought it was cute and made me smile for a second. So, thanks ... but, no thanks.
Nice viral app, though! I hope it goes well. I bet you more than double if you use facebook for connection and messaging.
> Besides, why would I want my friends to know that I'm not confident enough to approach someone I had a crush on?
Using Facebook Connect does not automatically equals spamming user's activity stream. Besides, this wouldn't be the most embarrassing app on Facebook by a long stretch.
Actually, I'm not fan of Facebook myself (and I don't have an account), but I must admit Facebook Connect would be perfect for this webapp. As @vessenes mentioned this would solve quite a few potential problems, like matching (different email addresses, spelling errors; while with Facebook it's unique account id). But also seeing your crash's avatar could be much more engaging than just typing names. And since SecretPoke's business model seems to be paying for extra crushes, I'm going to bet users presented with their full & interactive contact list are more likely to make an emotional decision and take out their credit card or agree to spend their Facebook currency.
"We never, ever tell anyone who crushed on them without seeing if there's a match"
and
"See what will be posted to your crush's walls:"
We definitely have a lot of options to explore !
For the men: There isn't a woman in the world who will be impressed by saying "Can you fill out this form so I can send you flowers?"
Take a good look at http://www.hotornot.com/ . I don't have the design chops to explain why, but that site comes across as less serious. If you can find more fun consumer sites that have been successful you should be able to identify some common design techniques.
But you are right so we gonna A/B test our jokes real HN style ;)
If anyone is a ruby-ish person in Toronto, ON and they want to work on Hot Or Not and other similar sites, i'd encourage you to email me at jamie.wilson@avidlifemedia.com
They removed this and other features completely in the new redesign from last year.
Thank you for your feedback :)
I'm curious how you phrase your email. I've seen many "CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT WHO HAS A CRUSH ON YOU" style ads; how are you making sure you're not seen as one?
Re: sending flowers/gifts anonymously: I suppose some people might like it but "Please fill out your address for your secret admirer," I think that for a lot of people this might seem more like "SecretStalk."
The wording there prevented me from using the service.
http://eu.techcrunch.com/2011/02/04/not-sure-if-she-likes-yo...
Sounds similar to FitFinder and the like... Web 3.0: The flirting network...
Did you try the website ? Have any feedback to share with us :) ?
We are looking for ways to improve the website so thank all for your comments !
Years ago there were a flurry of sites like this. They'd send spam to sadfsdfsadfhrtrth@yahoo.com (fake address that I'd only ever used once at some shady ecommerce site) telling me that someone had a crush on me, and all I needed to do was provide my credit card number to find out who.
Ho-ho-ho.
Unless I can understand the ToS, there's no way I'd use such a site.
"Poke" is just too sexual. It might appeal to some people, but I can imagine a lot of women having negative associations with being "secretly poked". I do, and Im a guy.
I didn't even consider the "dirty" meaning until you brought it up and I hardly use FB.
We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.
it should work in english: http://de.secretpoke.com/set-locale/en
We are gonna fix that ASAP thank you !
If so, I think this could quickly spiral into a pyramid scheme.
The first problem is that it's nothing new. I remember sites like this when I was in high school, and I graduated in 2003. Maybe you've built a better mousetrap, and maybe the world is just ready for this sort of thing now, but I'd bet there's a reason there isn't already a dominant site in this area given how long the idea has been around.
I remember from the high school version of this that it was horribly abused. It's a great attack vector for certain types of bullies and misguided prankster friends, and it will be used as such.
I should also point out that people can have multiple email addresses, and not all of your friends and acquaintances will know you by multiple addresses. What if I send the message from the wrong address, and my crush only knows me by something else? If she does like me, she'll have to send her own "first message" to my other address. If I suddenly receive another "someone's crushin' on you" message, wouldn't I first assume that it's someone else, since if it was my crush was mutual, I would have got a confirmation, not a request, right?
So let's assume that the crush is mutual. The only way the crushee to find out who I am is to put herself out there as well. It's sort of a large jump to ask someone, especially a shy someone, to make. Also, what if the crushee knows you by a couple email addresses? Which should she send a request/confirmation to? She could send it to both, but then she's using at least two out of her three freebies. If she likes two people, and knows both of them by two emails, then one of those two people can't receive a confirmation on both accounts unless the crushee decides to shell out two Euros (Around $2.70 in American/Canadian currencies). I sincerely doubt someone would do that.
One major problem is what I'll call "balls." Do women really want a guy who's too fucking timid to just come right out and say they like them? No.
I'll give you an example:
My hotmail address (used for likely-to-spam signups and as an MSN moniker) was created solely to send a "crush" email to a girl I liked in high school. This was back when hotmail had a directory you could use to email people you didn't have a proper address for.
So, I sent her a message saying basically, "hey, we've got a couple classes together and I noticed you, etc. etc." When I got a response back, is was just "You've piqued my interest. Spill, who are you?" with instructions to just man up and approach her in class. Women tend to like confident men, and men who hide behind internet filters tend not to be the confident type.
Finally, I just want to note that there's also a question of legality here. I can't cite a source off the top of my head, but I know there is legislation in Canada and possibly in the States that classifies "Tell-a-Friend" type email functionality as spam. These emails are therefore subject to fines. I don't know if they enforce it for things like this, but it's definitely something to consider.
I've had lots of crushes on shy guys. Problem is, I'm shy too, so I don't say anything -- and end up with the not-shy guys I crush on, because they ask first. Most of my female friends have had crushes on shy guys too, but the same thing usually happens. In younger crowds (I'm guessing the main demographic for these sites) girls who ask out guys can be rejected pretty harshly so its usually not worth the bother even if you aren't shy. In HS, one of my friends had her crush throw food at her from a car window after she wrote him an anonymous (but fairly obvious) note admitting she liked him. This even though they had hung out lots and she considered him at least a friend. It was more than a little discouraging for all of us, especially since his aim was so bad we ALL got covered in it. Ugh.
Do you remember the name of the website back then?
Anyway, I would suggest that you create a facebook application to go with the website, you could get quite a following.
We thought about doing a Facebook app but ToS seem not very friendly with apps doing anonymous action :)
I dutifully entered some girls at my high school and shortly thereafter I got a match: Julie. This was exciting, until she emailed me saying something along the lines of, "lol i was just trying to see who liked me."
Soured the whole experience for me.
I wonder if the SecretPoke designers have considered non-good-faith use cases? Is there any way to distinguish between good faith use, and manipulative, embarrassing, or purposeful outing use cases?
Sorry for Julie ;)
Seabee is right, the limit of 3 free crushes help to limitate that side effect.
We cant prevent 100% non-good-faith crushes but you could still have answered to Julie that you entered her email because it was obvious that she was in love in you ;)
SecretPoke only reveal identity if it's mutual so if somebody was joking you, you can always answer that it was the same for you. (I know that it's a little childish but it's "effective")
If you have any ideas to prevent Julies of the world to use SecretPoke to break our little hearts please share with me, we would love to implement some to see what is happening :)
Thank for your feedback