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Comment by mrj | Hacker News Reader

You're looking at it wrong, like a transaction. But imagine a guy who finds humor and joy while progressively losing eyesight. A guy who's passion for seeing things before they're gone livens and betters all who know him. That guy is somebody people will want to be around. If you sink into bitterness it'll form a self-reinforcing pattern that will ensure your loneliness. And please talk with a professional if you haven't, because that is a heavy thing you're facing and perspective can really be helped by the right person.

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Would you also congratulate a terminal cancer patient on their opportunity to become a better person? Did you honestly read what you wrote? I am a real person, with real feelings. This is not a feel-good movie: it is real life. This is horrid and you are telling me to be grateful for my suffering.

No, they're telling you if you can't change it, how you deal with it has an impact on your relationships with others. Gloomy, angry, defeated people have trouble dating whether they're blind or not.

Are you in therapy or a support group of some kind to deal with the very real, very legitimate feelings this change of circumstances causes?

He is not telling you to "be grateful for [your] suffering." You are projecting a bit here or otherwise reading into it the wrong way. He is saying that despite your ongoing issue with your eyesight (and I am sorry to hear that), you are much more than that. What would happen if you met a funny, cute, good-spirited woman that was stuck in a self-defeating thought loop and letting a health issue define her outlook and worldview? I think it would make her less fun and less attractive and would more or less be awkward. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for 15 years and haven't dated anyone since 2015 and can't afford therapy to "fix" this stuff, but as parent suggested, a change in perspective can be extremely potent.

Out of all of the responses in this thread, including my own, I feel that tristor's is the most helpful: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21722841

Please seek out support groups or one-on-one counseling related to your condition. I think a good place to start would be through the doctor's who diagnosed you. You could ask for referrals to counselors or support groups.

This is a beautiful post and while it wasn't addressed to me, it struck an emotional chord in me. I don't think its intended recipient feels the same way, but that's OK. Thank you for saying this.

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