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"What was your reason for not using sshd?"

That's my go-to phrase. It implies that I am looking to be educated, and not that I think they messed up.

It also makes them look like a giant idiot if they actually made a mistake by not considering it. Maybe not the best thing to risk.

But that is kind of unavoidable. When I do screw up, I rather find out by an honest question, where I can be the one answering, "duh, I should have thought of that!", instead of gradually realising that the only one that doesn't know that I'm wasting my time is I.

It's partly unavoidable, but you make the embarrassment far worse if you act like it's so obvious that they clearly must have tried it, you don't even need to ask.

Hmm, using "you/your" and asking them to explain their actions actually comes off as accusatory to me.

Compare that to "Why doesn't sshd work here?" (mentioned elsewhere in the comments), which seems more focused on education.

Alternatively: “For what reason did you not choose...”

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