A day in a life with pain

>When I get a seat, will I be able to deal with the older people on my train squinting daggers at me? What do I do if someone is really mean to me again today? Do I look “disabled enough” to get a seat?

It's horrible that someone already dealing with a disability would have to worry about people always assuming the worst.

One time I had to step off a bus for a group to get by me. A couple saw me stepping back on without seeing me get off and gave me dirty looks while whispering to each other for the rest of the ride. It really bothered me. I can't imagine having to deal with that situation every day.

For some reason the bus experience really stuck with me. It's really easy, even or maybe especially for really nice people, to get angry and judgmental when they think someone isn't playing by the rules.

I spent 3.5 years of my life in constant, excruciating "please just kill me now"/"I will sell my soul to the devil for 24 hours without pain" kind of pain. Prescription pain killers did little to take the edge off. I'm no longer in constant pain and haven't been in years. Whenever I read something like this, I wish I could help the author resolve their problem and stop hurting so much. Usually, I can't, I think largely because most people don't believe it is resolvable. I would try to write to them (assuming I could even find contact info) but that never works.

:-/ :-/ :-/