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Using SRV records would eliminate a huge number of IPv4 problems.

Not really. You'd have to update a ton of software to actually support SRV records.

Yes, unfortunately. I feel like that's marginally better than updating millions of pieces of hardware for ipv6 support :/

Having used SRV for both TCP and UDP applications for over 5 years, I can say that it is a somewhat-terrible way to do things.