Let’s say you want to start a career as a freelance for example : what skill to you put forward ? You may say « but jobs requiring elixir are probably more interesting than sql/java ». I agree, but that is if there’s one position open at the time you’re looking , in the area you’re looking and with other qualifications matching
At the same time though, none of those people have earned anything remotely what I tend to see on HN in general, and SF area in particular. From my limited experience, it feels like a good, experienced, hardened, senior Java developer in Toronto, Canada (not a tiny/cheap place), makes about half what a hot-startup-technology intermediate makes in SF :-\
The vast majority of software developers will never see six figures (adjusted for inflation) unless they move to management, just like most of their white-collar peers.
Software engineer and senior software engineer are 100k+, among many others.
Seems an even trade.
Software developers get paid better than typical, so they can get fancier housing if they don't have expensive hobbies. See if you can afford the things my coworkers have gotten:
1. a house with canal access to a lake
2. a new McMansion (looked like 3000 to 6000 square feet)
3. 11 acres, building the house as desired (he got sheep and chickens for fun)
4. beach condo
5. a house with a boat dock on a large waterway leading to the ocean
I'm going to guess that at least 4 of those are impossible for you. The cost of 11 acres is particularly entertaining. I went for something a bit more modest, about 3500 square feet on 0.39 acres, but it is just 0.9 mile from work and I'm supporting a family of 14 on a single income.
So while I can't afford that stuff now, out here, I'm going to be in a much better position in retirement than most of your friends. And I'll be able to retire sooner.
You CoL difference is only 2x because you are settling for inferior housing. People can do that. You have. Let's not pretend it is good housing however. To get that early retirement, you forgo decades of living in decent housing. The CoL difference is well over 10x with equivalent housing.
That housing deficiency can have an everlasting impact on your family. People in costly and cramped spaces have smaller families. You might not be aware of the effect it has on you, simply thinking that you didn't want that many kids. In retirement, it will be too late to have more kids.