Comment by farleykr | Hacker News Reader

Comment by farleykr | Hacker News Reader

I've struggled with a similar situation - anxiety stemming from childhood trauma - for a long time. The things that help me the most are:

1. Basic self care: get enough sleep (~8 hours a night), eat plenty of healthy food and cut out as much junk food as possible, and make time for doing something you enjoy each day, even if it's only for 20-30 minutes.

2. Therapy: Either straightforward counseling or something more involved like EMDR or neurofeedback brain training. I can recommend the latter. It has truly changed my life.

3. Spend time with people you love and who love you. Self care and healing would have never been remotely possible or effective for me if I didn't have solid friendships with a few people who truly cared for my best interest and a good relationship with my kids and spouse.

*EDIT: I forgot to add, look into taking medication. I take a small dose of Lexapro daily and it has made a huge difference.

In order to heal and improve your situation, you MUST make time for these things. Don't try to add them on to whatever your day to day already looks like. Cut out other stuff as much as possible and increase the amount of time you spend on 1-3. Be forgiving and kind to yourself with this part, but do be as ruthless as possible with making time for 1-3.

In my experience, taking care of self and being involved in healthy friendships and family relationships creates a situation where the confidence and will to make changes to things like your job becomes possible.

4. Throw away all social media. Don't get on the "look how successfull/beautiful she/he is!"-bandwagon. That only leads to misserable thoughts. This probably is a big part of the burn out-looking syndroms we keep seeing on youth

Thank you. This is true. I’ve stopped using all social media (except HN) a year ago. Not sure about HN. Sometimes I read interesting things. Sometimes it makes me anxious and depressed

I’ve got social media blocked at the network level. Has made a huge difference.

Thank you. I have been drinking more lately. I guess I should stop. I find it hard to enjoy anything. I was thinking about why is that. I found I don’t like myself at all and I guess deep inside I think I don’t deserve to feel joy. My therapist says I’m emotionally immature. She’s probably right.

You must stop drinking alcohol. It is a depressant. You are literally making yourself feel worse. No amounts consumed in moderation are helpful. Stop, cold turkey. Don't wait to make this change, either, and try not to replace it with an alternative. If you absolutely must find a replacement, try vaping high-CBD hemp flower. I don't know what your country's legal status is for this, though, and that may not be possible. It can be mail ordered from the U.S. (see Tweedle Farms or Fields of Hemp).

Actually, kava kava is the best I’ve found outside of benzodiazepines.

Benzos don’t work at all for me. I have an Ativan script and it’s useless. Should I be asking for something else?

Dunno, but kava is over the counter in many places.

CBD weed works really well for me, its helped me stop drinking and stop smoking the THC strains that were really damaging my life. It can be mail-ordered from the United kingdom (see BUDCBD or search cbd buds uk ).

> My therapist says I’m emotionally immature.

find a different therapist :)

She has absolutely no business saying that: she's currently part of your problem. Get rid of her and find someone who is emotionally mature enough to help others.

As others have said, find another therapist. We don't have a lot of context to go on here but my therapist who helped me so much never put me down. He often told me important truths but in a way that I could digest and would help me to find successful mechanisms to help outside of the therapist office. If you're not finding that, get another therapist.

i am no specialist but the way the ego works maybe you are making a very high idealized version of you that when compared with the real persona you find a big hiatus between what you perceive you are and the one you want to become. maybe you should relax a little such high standards for a more down-to-earth person, frequently people less exigent are just happiest. i call this the john wayne syndrome because we are trying to be the hero of our own life whereas we are just regular folks. also seek if there are repressed feelings you avoid that are inducing self-abusive behavior

Thank you for your comment. That is absolutely true. I have excuses for everyone except for myself. Intellectually, I realize that, but it’s difficult to fight it. My therapist is trying to help with this. We’ll see how it goes.

Lexapro worked for me until it didn't any more and then made my anxiety worse

How did you know it stopped working? What did you do to fix it? What if I’m not sure it ever worked in the first place?

My dosage was ridiculously high after adjusting it many times over years. I was on maintenance mode for a long while, not really thinking about how I was feeling and just carrying on. Then, I finally took stock and realized I wasn't feeling emotionally well. It occurred to me that the way I felt at that time was very different from when I just started taking lexapro (it was a dramatic improvement and I was much brighter). I then spoke about my condition with my general physician who seemed to only have a comment about it after I brought it up, such as "yeah, that is a high dose". I felt disappointed in my doctor for not being proactive about it with me but maybe the doctor assumed I knew what worked best for my self.

I cut my dosage by 5mg every 3-5 months until where I am now (5mg). All the while, I supplemented with hemp cbd flower.

Be very careful about reducing dosage. You can get headaches and feel ill. Withdrawal symptoms are pretty bad. Reducing dosage may also have inadvertent psychological side effects. Speak with your doctor before you give it a try. I am not a physician. :)

thank you

This happened to me as well. I remember getting much much worse. Luckily by that point I was in therapy and that helped a ton.

Which have you had success with-- EDMR or neurofeedback training? If you are in the bay area can you recommend anyone?

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