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He literally rides giraffes.

Yup. I have a giraffe, and I ride it. In suitable circumstances I also ride giraffes that belong to other people.

Email me if you really, really need to know more.

"I also ride giraffes that belong to other people."

Naturally. Otherwise your nic would be RiderOfGiraffe.

Unless I had more than one. Which I don't.

I'm even more confused.

As I said earlier: Email me if you really, really need to know more.