Perhaps the key to a well-adjusted view of life is trauma? To show you how good the rest of life can be.
The experiences give you the resolve or clues or whatever to avoid bad choices, or appreciate good ones. Or help others understand (if they're receptive).
My grandfather was a teenager during WW2. He was a Polish Jew and lucky to have seen the writing on the wall and fled eastwards when the Nazis invaded (almost the entire rest of his large family died in the holocaust - his only living relative was his brother, who died as a soldier in 1948 in the Israeli war of independence).
He had a horrible time during the war but eventually found safety as a refugee in the soviet union (after they put him to 2 years of forced labor in a coal mine). He met my grandmother in the Ukraine & together they fled to Uzbekistan where my mother was born a few months after the end of the war.
He used to say that during those time he fantasied about owning/operating a flour mill after the war, so that he could always bake bread and never be hungry.
He had a psychotic episode in the 70s and was put on medication that he continued taking his entire life afterwards. He was a deeply harsh, grumpy & unhappy person the entire time I knew him (roughly the last 20 years of his life). According to what my mother told me about her & my uncle's upbringing he would also be considered a terrible father these days (due to his own emotional/psychic state no doubt).
So I would personally put a strong recommendation against experiencing extreme hardships in order to "build character" - I rather my character remain unbuilt than experience war, genocide & forced labor camps.
For example, being a navigator, my father sat up front behind the bombardier. There's a plexiglass hemisphere in the nose. The Me-109's favorite attack plan was the head on attack (because the B-17's had a gap in coverage in the front). He said you can see the cannon flash as they fired at him (usually aiming for the pilots, who were right behind my father's position, thinking "how can they miss".
What would you do in such a situation? Nobody can tell in advance.
It seems obvious that living and pushing through real hardships can have highly variable impacts on people, depending on the person and the circumstances.
I suspect that one element that makes such experiences more likely to provide positive long-term impacts is perceived or real personal agency during the events in question.
If, during the difficult times, a person feels like they have some material influence over the outcome, and then the outcome is neutral or good, then it's more likely that the whole mess will end up being a net positive life influence.
What do you think?
There is suffering on an immense scale daily.
* Warning - Following is Graphic not for sensitive people *
For example I read from the comfort of my bed last night that a beekeeper just lost practically everything in Australia and when fires ripped through his property, to add insult to injury, when he went into the Forrest, all he could hear was a choir of moaning, wounded or dying animals. Koalas, kangaroos etc.
One can easily be grateful this day they didn’t experience something this catastrophic and that you’re not one of those animals. You can also realise one day you might be, so while your ok, make the most of it.
Link to the story, again it’s not for the sensitive: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-11-20/beekeepers-traumatise...
When you see someone very close to you dying, the finality of it becomes very very real.
Same with most other tragedies I'd think.
I didn’t mean it to be condescending at all, I genuinely found that story super disturbing and I didn’t want to put others through it unless they wanted to be put through it.
The scene the guy is describing real sounds like an apocalyptic hellscape, if you’re not somewhat disturbed by it, then I’m not sure what to say.
It is just that this view seems to be gaining popularity and I don't get it. Being disturbed by something is an emotion and emotions serve to orient us. They are useful - both pleasant and unpleasant. Filtering out unpleasant emotions is like wearing glasses that only let you see things you like - why would anyone want that? Do you believe this is a good thing?
And BTW, if you find that article disturbing, I would really like to know what would you think about things like reading The Kindly Ones by Jonathan Littell... or visiting Auschwitz?
Therefore I feel some will find this article disturbing because humans and many living beings have suffered horrible deaths in what I’d call unnatural ways (fire isn’t new to these animals, the intensity of the fires is). It’s also a glimpse of more very tragic times ahead.
I put a link to the article and a warning, what do you find so concerning about it ? Maybe people don’t read hacker news to feel like shit? Maybe some people are reading who have been directly affected too. So I gave people the option to skip that article and the details if they weren’t in the mood for it right now Who cares? I just wanted to give people the choice.
I agree with your point about good and bad emotions. I mean, I read the article in the first place.
If you have trouble seeing why some would find a forest full of crying animals who has been partially burned to death sad or troubling with more to come, maybe you’re someone who has trouble feeling empathy? Which is ok, but you would have trouble understanding people that might.
By the way, I am from Earth, just like you. I don’t see how that question was relevant.
I have no trouble seeing why some would find it troubling - what I do not get is why you would think this is a reason to put there the warning. You say it yourself - we are going to have a lot of problems. Shouldn't you encourage people to face them? Is it not a good thing to be disturbed by disturbing things? What is better - that people face the hard truths or that they cover their eyes in front of them? This is what bugs me on those warnings - that I perceive them as making our society more fragile and less able to handle the problems. There is such a thing as too much sensitivity. Coddling is not good for us.
People seeing disturbing things won’t just stop climate change.
Ignorance and psychopathic behaviour has slowed progress, not empathy and concern.
If you want to appreciate food, then perform a fast.
If you want to appreciate rest, then exhaust yourself through exercise.
If you want to appreciate life, then approach the doors of death and return.
If you want to appreciate bliss, then walk through suffering.
They are not.