OMG that reminded me! Someone sold me a cheap 50MB HD in the late 90s (it was probably full of dubiously obtained files or such). It would teeeechnically spin up, but my Amiga was pulling about 50KB per second off of it, and it made a grinding bearing sound. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I flipped it over and squirted a little 3-in-1 oil into the bearing.
RRRRNGNGNGGNGGGGGRRRRRRRRMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm.....
...as the grinding slowly morphed into the high pitched whine of a happy SCSI drive, and the drive transfer meter crept up to a reasonable 1MB per second. I got the files off of it with a quickness, then threw it away.
Yes, I have officially, in front of witnesses, sped up a computer by oiling it.