"but no chemistry on my side".

Seems like you are trying to solve with your head (models & co) what is essentially a heart problem.

If you had that chemistry, I think you wouldn't be asking yourself so many (deep?) questions. Once you have that deep connection, almost everything else falls into place.

Source: been there, done that.

Good luck.

PS: how about posting this to Reddit? seems like a more appropriate audience and higher expected response rate than HN for such a question.