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Comment by LegitShady | Hacker News Reader

>people set up meetings on top of it anyway, or message me asking if that block time is "real"

Your problem here is you. You were booked. When someone sends you a double booking, hit "DECLINE" and they get an email right away saying you declined it.

Then you say "Hey I already had something in my schedule for that time, can't make it. You have access to my calendar why would you make meetings when I'm busy? That isn't very respectful."

If someone asks if a block of time is "real" always say yes. your problem is that apparently you have blocks of time that aren't real. if you only have real blocks of time in your schedule, nobody will guess which aren't or are real.

If someone asks you in person, have the backbone and willpower to say "Hey I'm already booked" and suggest another time.

You're the one causing your problems, but you're describing it as other people doing it to you.

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This can be difficult to do in certain contexts. This approach could easily cause them to be perceived as arrogant, "not a team player", or some other cliche. If their calendar is open to others (so it shows event details more than just free/busy), it's hard to portray those blocks of time as equivalent to "real" meetings.

Involving your manager is potentially a great step—though you have the best gauge as to whether it's the right move. If you've discussed your approach with them, they can provide some much-needed cover if colleagues complain that you're not available enough.

Again, this is why you

1) Start from the 'respect' angle.

2) Suggest an alternate time so that it can work.

3) Leave a paper trail.

I would only involve a manager if it became a serial issue and you've made your concerns clear and in writing.

Whether you come off as disinterested, not a team player, or just busy and the other person isn't willing to respect your schedule is up to you.

But it all depends on you.

The problem is that when you do this, and then don't go to the meeting, and then a decision is made that you don't agree with, you are told, "well you had a chance but you didn't come to the meeting".

The other problem is that sometimes people will literally see you working in your cube/office during the meeting and then ask you why you declined if you clearly weren't busy, because they don't equate coding with being busy. Sitting at your desk == not busy in their mind.

So now you have a political problem because you're seen as uninterested/not a team player.

>>Sitting at your desk == not busy in their mind

Maddeningly, these are the same people who feel like you have to be in the office 100% of the time so they feel like you are working.

Thats why you suggest an alternate time, so that the onus is on them. Alternately if you know someone competent and willing to attend to make sure it goes right, ask them if they'll go.

Whether you come off as disinterested or busy is up to you.

>The problem is that when you do this, and then don't go to the meeting, and then a decision is made that you don't agree with, you are told, "well you had a chance but you didn't come to the meeting".

I would have if the item, I cared about was on the agenda.

This is why agenda are a) important b) should be sent out 24 hours or more before the meeting c) should be rigdly followed.

Anything else is either poor communication or a waste of productivity.

This gives everyone time to review the agendas. Making a decision which is worth attending,which is worth escalating.

Beside the manager should be representing you anyway.

>if you clearly weren't busy, because they don't equate coding with being busy. Sitting at your desk == not busy in their mind.

Coding yes. A skype meeting would be busy in their mind.

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