My family faces an impossible choice: caring for our mom, or building our future

It's possible caring for your mother is building for the future by investing in life long care you help build a society which is better. I realise it's a huge hole of debt and is a societal non financial benefit but it's still a benefit. For example investing in mods to a house so it's suitable for a live in carer or to maintain an immobile person in the home means somebody else can leverage that investment in infrastructure when their time comes. Time spent caring for a grandparent may translate into deep memories for grandchildren about end of life and the whole life experience.

And of course I'm also aware from personal experience and friends experience it's soul destroying and leads to burn out and personal injury and probably PTSD and depression and stringent financial losses.

I’m paywalled, but already turned off by the use of the word “millennial.”

This situation isn’t unique to the millennial generation itself. I wish there were a less annoying way to express the idea of “current young adults” because “millennial” is annoying, stigmatized, and often inaccurate.

Some cultures have stronger traditions of multiple generation households and caring for elders. But also, recent lower birth rates put more of that burden on one to two children instead of many more.

Back to how our western/US system works: we are supposed to pay for assisted living with Social Security, pensions, Veterans benefits, home equity, and other retirement savings. If your parents haven’t been preparing, it is they who have made the “impossible” choice to burden you with their care.

And perhaps that’s a reminder to save as much as you can.