Social exclusion is an overused form of punishment. It eliminates any chance of education or understanding on either side. Done often enough, and it polarizes everyone.
Then when someone says those things, you have trouble articulating why they're bad, and then you fall back on the threat of social exclusion.
"Cancellation" is often used in the same way the pillory used to be - making an example of one, as a warning to the rest.
Whilst it's still bouncing around as a thing, discussions simply aren't happening. You can't query aspects of cancel culture, without fearing that you'll be next...so you type something banal.. you decide it's safer to say "N-word" even in contexts where you're directly quoting ... nope, I'm definitely not going to say it here.