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Comment by Confusion | Hacker News Reader

  What you actually just said: “Hey, why don’t you spend
  some time going through your schedule, pick out some times
  that work and email them to me. I’ll then sit back and 
  pick one that I like.”

1) When you suggest a bunch of possibilities yourself, they will still have to go through their schedule to see if they are free at any of those particular moments.

2) Going through your schedule hunting for specific moments takes longer than just finding the first empty spot that they might want to fill with your particular request.

3) Since they are in demand and their schedules are full, it is quite unlikely that any of your chosen times will fit them. As a result, they will still have to do the same work to make a 'counteroffer'.

Any arguments in favor of the thesis are lacking. It's just someone venting an opinion.

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One argument against saying "whatever works for you" is that it makes it appear that you don't have anything else important to do. This can lower your status, particularly with alpha male top gun types (VCs, I'm looking at you) whose minds naturally slot people into a pecking order. If you want a hierarchical-thinking person like this to respect you, you have to convey that you too are an important person with important things to do and other important people to see. So consider the context: say "whatever" to your friends but never say "whatever" to status-obsessed people you need to get money from.

It's not just VCs and alpha-male top gun types. You're correct about your friends, but I think it's more that they've already determined your place in the pecking order. For instance, how many times have you been in a discussion with another programmer that devolved into "My project is so much cooler than yours"?

> For instance, how many times have you been in a discussion with another programmer that devolved into "My project is so much cooler than yours"?

Not many actually

You could always just make up some days you're not available, and then make an 'exception' to fit them into your 'schedule'.

1) Working with a few possibilities is easier than 40 hours of openings. Especially if those possibilities are pre-selected.

2) Not if they have a busy schedule.

3) If their schedule is that busy, their counteroffer will be the only time they have free, and that will be that.

I think it's more that someone at somepoint is just going to have to choose a time and probably by some arbitrary means. Why does it need to be the other person? If you just say "Whatever" it makes it seem like you're disinterested in meeting with the other person and/or indecisive. Worst case is that it makes you look unconfident - they're obviously so much more busy and important than you are that you just want to let them make the decision.

Whenever someone tries to schedule something with me, my response is usually "Sure, why don't we do 2 PM on Tuesday? My schedule is wide open though, so feel free to let me know if there's a more appropriate time." That shows the other person you're interested, flexible, and willing to make a decision.

I like giving broad times - like, "any time morning Singapore time 5AM to 9AM, or suggest something that works for you if that doesn't."

I don't mind "whenever works for you", as long as the person is really likely to take any time. If you get 1-3 times back after "whenever" and none work, then the burden is really on you to nail down exactly when you're free. But a general best times works better anyways and narrows things down a lot.

Here's a google calendar gadget that searches your calendar and makes a list of open times suitable for copying. So that takes care of point #2.

http://www.websimple.com/blog/scheduling-assistant-gcal-gadg...

Good for tungle-challenged.

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