I believe in myself more with every push to heroku. maybe I will do a Calculus class next and prove to myself I can learn anything. Anyone have recommendation on an online calc course for the math-insecure?
Code? Natural and easy, even “hard” concepts. There, my measured natural abilities come out just as you’d think they would. My best guess is I find algorithmic thinking easy, but proof/equational thinking unnatural. All I can figure. I’ve had some limited success approaching math with a “what does this term _do_?” attitude, but it’s slow going.
IOW don’t worry, there are others out there. Sometimes we even get a reputation for being the ones to go with for the tricky stuff. Go figure.
Honestly I'd say do one thing at a time, and do it well. It takes a year to stop being bad at anything worth doing, and a lifetime to get good. You're only two weeks into learning to code. Maybe you should go full-bore into that for the next year and pick up calculus some other time.
sometimes when you are programming in a big body of code you are dealing with lots of types (types in the programming sense)... and you are dealing with functions that have type signatures that must be satisfied to avoid compile errors... so you wrap this type in that one so you can call that function.. or you convert the return value from one type to another so you can call something else...
anyway, that is all similar to what you are doing when you manipulate an equation. you follow the rules and change it into a form that is more useful.
Note that very few people are actually “bad at math” in any kind of inherent way. The problem is usually a combination of psychologically damaging (and technically poor) teaching, parental/peer pressure, etc. leading to a phobia/mental block, which eventually leads people to construct an identity as “not a math person” (which has been tragically normalized in our society – in some places this doesn’t happen).
Plenty of the folks who say they are “bad at math” try again later under more relaxed and encouraging circumstances and are plenty successful.
So good luck!
If you are serious about it, my recommendation is to try to find a private tutor to meet with face to face.