The number one mistake in NVC is leaving an implied threat of "and if you don't, I'll lose control and stop asking nicely" around in the social atmosphere. There's a lot of groundwork you need to lay in order to have the conversation actually be about observations, needs, and emotions. If you don't have it, NVC can often be a tool of aggression.

If your goal is to passive aggressively manipulate others, then NVC will work just as well as anything else. If your goal is connected communication, NVC works very well too.

Stuff like this can be abused indeed. Also worth noting that this kind of communication skills are part of most management trainings. I took some courses on coaching and selling your ideas ten years ago and this is exactly the kind of thing they teach. So in that sense, yes, this exactly the kind of tools that your average passive aggressive manager (aka. people manipulator) would use. But then, it's also a common trait for some of the best managers I've worked for to be good at this stuff.

A more productive way to think about it is in terms of leveling the playing field when dealing with people with such skills and understand what they are doing and why. Also it allows you to be more effective in day to day getting stuff done with other people; especially when you sometimes disagree with them. Finally, knowledge of this stuff can help when you realize you are being a dick. Also you now have the tools to be less of a dick by simply stating things in a different way.

I don't think so - the compliance strategy vibe is strong.