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Comment by mav3rick | Hacker News Reader

"Dark pattern". Do you know how many unsolicited messages women receive on Facebook ?

This is a legitimate concern, but the way to combat isn't to silently hide messages behind unfamiliar UI. For a contrast, consider email junk filters, which generally serve a similar purpose but are accessible enough to easily scan through in case of legitimate messages being lost.

I've come across a type of scam where someone on a dating app like tinder will pose as an attractive person with the intention of trying to convince the victim to engage in sexually explicit texts or snapchats. Once they do, the scammer then looks up the friends of friends of the facebook profile associated with the number and then tries to blackmail the victim with threats of sending embarrassing texts to their closest friends. There are now TV commercials warning about it too. The best thing you can do is beg the scammer to post the texts, it really confuses the hell out of them and thanks to this facebook feature, the threat is greatly minimized.

Actually, the best thing you could do would be to not send someone pictures of yourself you wouldn't like shared. Also, the scammer could just add them as friends first.

Yes that would be the best thing but sometimes kids aren’t wise enough. Yes they could add all your friends, but the idea is to kill their incentive. After all they’re banking on you being ashamed for their blackmail to get money from you. Those that matter don't mind and those that do don’t matter.

They would still probably send nudes to your mother out of sadistic pleasure. Sometimes people get themselves into a situation where they have no good choices to make.

So what if they do? You can't let other people dictate your emotions or they will take advantage of you any way possible. That feeling of shame and embarrassment comes from within, not from the scammer, and therefore you have power over it, not them. There's no sadistic pleasure to be had if the victim doesn't care. If the victim doesn't care, why should the scammer waste their time? But just in case they do, good thing there's that facebook feature that hides messages from obscure users. By the time someone ever finds the message, you can just say it was a deepfake.

Just because it comes from within doesn't mean it's realistic to control it. People feel shame for complicated reasons, and to stop feeling shame about something would likely change parts of someone's personality. Maybe he or she thinks that only special people should see them nude? You can't just will that away. Plus, the perpetrator might be satisfied in knowing something like "now all her friends will know what a slut she is" or whatever those people tell themselves.

Not everyone is as "tough" as you. Learn to have empathy. Having your naked body sent to people you love is a grossly embarrassing proposition for most people.

Whatever, it's ridiculous I found years-old legitimate messages in there when I looked.

I once won one of those contests and didn't notice until half a year later. They were kind enough to send me an alternative prize.

If it's deceitful, I think it's fair to call it dark pattern, even if the deceit is done with good intentions.

Two tons and growing.

However, FB should have filters for those instead of grouping everyone in there.

It makes no sense that the person living in the same town as me with a genuine profile is in the same interface as accounts written in foreign languages with 1 friend and a creation date of two days ago.

I do, and most of them are gross (I’ve read a lot about what women deal with, and my women friends have told me as much). But I don’t know if the current solution is the best one. If I were a cynic I would say that Facebook does this intentionally because they want you to befriend someone to chat with them.

I doubt your comment has to be as gendered as it is.

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