> usual ad-hoc JS nodejs server
Yep - that's the key why I feel they're on the same level. I heavily rely on the cluster module and IPC to get my work done which gives me true process isolation/safety however I admit it's more code in Node.js to make it rock-solid ;)
Anecdotal, but I find that the typical Node.js developer is 100% "single-process" with weird supervisors like PM2. I also see over-engineered fleets of EC2 instances behind ELB/ALBs with health checking kicking bad instances out + a way to replace them... this is also stupid common in Docker/docker-compose/K8s as well.
For the record I think that development pattern described in the above paragraph is total crap and I put it on the same level of idiots giving modern PHP7 a bad name. Devs who practice like this completely blew the content from their CS100/200 level courses out their butt (yeah yeah I say this as a dropout myself whatever ha).