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There's a circle numbered "8" in a very bad place, for web developers who modify browser shortcut keys and scrolling behaviour.

There's a circle numbered "9" in that same bad place, for browser developers who refuse to allow end-users to easily stop keystroke-hijacking and scrolljacking with a simple preference checkbox.

Explaining what I'd like to do to either group would probably land me in circle #5, and carrying it out would land me in #7.

Works in Edge. All one of us is happy.

Works fine in Firefox, but Chrome they don't work at all.

What browser are you using? Works fine in Mac Safari.

Ironically the fault is due some code intended to make scrolling smoother but some bug is making it so instead it doesn't scroll at all (source: https://i.imgur.com/XIewJXS.png)

In practice, "smoother" almost always means laggy and sluggish. It's one of the things I always turn off upon a new install of a browser.

This is not a browser feature, this is a JS-provided thing. IME, the browser smooth scroll is pretty neat, but website-provided implementations suck.