As a native Spanish speaker from Colombia I also love the topic of linguistic relativity :)

Some of the Spanish examples sound uncommon to me, though. "Se han perdido las llaves" is grammatically correct, but I would not use it. Instead I would say "boté las llaves" if I lost them ("I lost the keys"), or "las llaves se perdieron" if somebody else lost them but I didn't want to accuse that person ("the keys got lost).

Also, I never think of things doing actions "for me" but, instead, "on me". For example, if say "La planta que me diste se me ha muerto" ("the plant you gave me has died on me") I would not be implying that the plant "died for me", but only that the plant died while on my possession.

P.S. Just in case, in real-life this is what I say: "¿Dónde están las putas llaves?"