nefitty: You make some good points.
I would like to share my views around fairness and judgement. My apologies if the numbering makes them seem formal; my intention is only to give them a rough ordering.
1. One should not be eager to criticize others.
2. One should seek to understand others.
3. However, one should be willing, intellectually, to differentiate between aspects and assess those differences.
4. It requires some care to balance 1, 2, and 3.
5. One should be honest with oneself, at least, about your conclusions.
6. One should be comfortable with your assessments, particularly if you've thought them through.
7. One should be willing to share these thoughts with others, because debate will improve your thinking, scope, and articulation.
8. One should accept the consequences of what you say.
9. One should learn from what you say.
10. One should not refrain from making assessments only out of a fear that someone will label you as "judgmental".
11. Some people criticize others because they dislike the other person judging others. This is somewhat ironic, because in some cases this criticism is premature. If one judges another without engaging to develop an understanding, I think that is unfortunate. Doing so would be acting in a way inconsistent with one's own values.
All of these "should" statements should be adjusted to the situation. For example, repeated experience, if reflected on fairly, may warrant that some particular people do not deserve the same degree, say, of "benefit of the doubt".