Women are struggling to find men who make as much money as they do
nypost.com
nypost.com
It’s one thing to call someone lazy, it’s quite another to try to understand why they live the way they do. Personally, I don’t believe in laziness as a real concept, at least not over the long term.
I've dated women I thought I wanted. One was a very attractive girl who was into astronomy and whose movie was Jurassic Park. She also had Borderline Personality Disorder. I recently dated an older woman who is a musician and a hardcore vegan, I parted ways with her because I realized I would never be able to live up their list for a 'perfect partner'.
I'm 29, maybe I'll settle down in my 30's. Maybe not. I honestly don't know. I don't think being married is for everyone. I have some friends and family who are married, they don't always seem happier. If anything, some of them seem trapped.
For now, creativity, learning, and travel are more fulfilling to me than dating, meaningless sex, chasing women.
I find chasing and/or engaging in romantic relationships with women costs me far more than I estimate their worth at (the relationship, not the women themselves). And I'm not just talking money. I'm talking time, freedom, responsibility, cognitive cycles, etc. I think my time is best spent elsewhere on hobbies or video games or mindless entertainment or work.
I laughed at "I think my time is best spent elsewhere on ... mindless entertainment".
Not saying you need it, but the world can be a pretty lonely place if you don't have anyone to share it with. Maybe there is someone who you can enjoy the same mindless entertainment with. :-)
You do you though. You're the only one who can.
How old are you?
Just don't find the pursuit or the time dedications or the impact on my life worth it.
Personally I decided I didn't want kids decades ago, it drastically changed the distribution of priorities. I, like you, simply can't be bothered with dating now. It's just not worth the time and effort, risk of STDs, risk of pregnancy, risk of crazy, drama, etc.
Having said that however, there is something to be said for having a reliable partner in old age when hospital visits and navigating the healthcare system becomes a regular activity. It's problematic to be alone in a hospital, for a variety of reasons.
Maybe we should look at the women who are okay with doing so and wonder why others aren't like these women.
Pregnancy can be debilitating. Women are more likely than men to take time off work to care for the new baby. Breastfeeding is done by women.
These are practical issues that make it hard to not feel on some deep level like you really need a man who is capable of earning enough money to support you, him and a child if things do not go according to plan. If she is play the primary breadwinner role, gets pregnant and things go sideways, then what?
(Opinion of a woman. N=1, though.)
I think a lot of it is driven by practical considerations. Taking any time off work can undermine your earning capacity, so if you have a primary breadwinner in the family, it gets hard to make that choice.
I would love to help foster a world where this worked differently. But, for now, this is generally how it works for most people.
I was not at all disagreeing or making a comment regarding that. I just merely expressed my wants, hence why I started with stating that it is going to be a pointless comment. :)
From what I have seen those poll numbers tend to stay the same regardless of the median income in any given country, which implies that practical aspects is simply an rationale to explain an already made decision. If practical reasons was the primary cause we would expect to see a higher poll numbers in low income countries and a significant lower poll number in countries with high median income and strong well fare system. With free medical care, guarantied housing and food, the risks are reduced and thus preventative measures like only seeking good providers should be of relative lower importance.
Really the most suprissing part is that a large portion of unmarried men, age 25-45, make <$25,000 a year.
Swap cause and effect and it's no longer surprising. Men who don't make a lot of money have a hard time getting married.
That's been that way since the dawn of humanity, and should not surprise anyone.
Also heard a statistic that the average guy is less likely to graduate from HS and University than a women of similar age/class/race/etc. Degrees directly correlate to $$$, and ladies are doing a better job of getting them, though they still tend to choose non-STEM degrees and roles.
A 30 year old man with a good career and assets will try to date the 23 year old who looks like a fitness model. That's not to say women who make money cannot look like fitness models. There are just few of them because time is a limited resource.
The other part is that men are not on a certain timeline. A man can could spend his 30s and 20s casually dating, then get married at 45 and have kids. Whereas women try to get married before 30, so then she can have a kid or two before it's too late. Sure 35 year old women can get pregnant, but it's common to have miscarriages at that age.
These men sound very shallow
When it's 2am and the bar is closing you hit on who you think you can go home with, not the absolute hottest person in the bar.
This....is unlikely to happen. Men will simply exit the dating market faster than women will tolerate that they have to settle (similar to a cooling housing market where buyers go elsewhere because sellers aren’t motivated).
EDIT: User "rblion" explains why in this thread very well: "I think this is a bigger problem than just economics, it's a cultural one too. You have a entire generation of boys/teens/men who either grew up with or are growing up with an endless amount of entertainment (games, movies, shows, music, porn, drugs), the consequences of outsourcing and automation, and the rise of feminism/PC-culture. All at one time, of course many are giving up or just opting out."
If you can barely hold onto the socioeconomic ladder already, are you going to be a masochist and try to meet your partner's (likely high) expectations as well? Probably not.
Sigh... but it was a problem when men did. Damned if you do, damned if you do not. Am I alone in finding this ridiculous?
> Sigh... but it was a problem when men did.
so take it as the opposite of the way you did, I'm not good at text sarcasm.
For real? It's never come up ever? Do you tend not to date for long?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7OS2o-mMg0
It has been thoroughly laughed at, though, by hosts of 'the View', for example
https://abcnews.go.com/theview/video/tucker-carlson-suggests...
And presumably those men aren't interested in women who spend a lot of time working, since they have that covered.
Fortunately reality kicks in and people generally learn to swing their own weight, it's sort of part of becoming an adult.
Relax. Breathe.
Yes, it's probably true vice versa too like many things.
Perhaps it's wiser for them to find a spouse at a younger age, before they make a lot of money.
> In it, researchers studied the “desirability” of male and female users, based on how many messages nearly 200,000 users, all of whom were seeking opposite-sex partners, got over one month on a “popular, free online-dating service” — and if those sending the messages were desirable based on the same criteria.
> The researchers determined that while men’s sexual desirability peaks at age 50, women’s starts high at 18 and falls from there.
> “The age gradient for women definitely surprised us — both in terms of the fact that it steadily declined from the time women were 18 to the time they were 65, and also how steep it was,” said Elizabeth Bruch, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Michigan and an author of the study. [1] [2]
> A woman’s desirability peaks at 21, which, ironically enough is the age that men just begin their “prime,” i.e. become more desirable than average. Following that dotted line out, you can see that a woman of 31 is already “past her prime,” while a man doesn’t become so until 36. As we mentioned above, after age 26, a man has more potential matches than his female counterparts, which is a drastic reversal of the proportion in young adulthood, when women are much more sought-after. Because men’s dating preferences skew so young, and women’s are age-equitable, men peak later, and have a longer plateau of desirability, than women. [3]
[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/15/style/dating-apps-online-...
[2] https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/advances/4/8/eaap981...
[3] https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-case-for-an-older-woman-99d8...
The woman in the photo probably thinks of herself as an 8.5, is probably a 7 with makeup and a 6 without. Every man has to be an 8.5 even if she says 7 and above is fine but she’d call him a 6 just so he knows how lucky he is to be dating her as she’s an 8.5
It’s the dating world equivalent of CDO selling lol.
Once upon a time a guy got away who was probably right for her but she thought she was deserving of better. Probably after buying some expensive shoes because as we all know $1500 shoes make a woman who is a 7 turn into an 8 in men’s eyes.
Articles like this are a good reminder to do something nice for our partners who aren’t money obsessed self important fantasists. The idea of going back to the dating market and having to bend over backwards for that type of woman is mind sharpener alright.