I don't see the justification in calling HN a Boy's Club either, as there are zero barriers to participate other than a computer. That term is usually used when people exclude women from the group because they are women, but nobody here knows or cares what sex you are.
I'm sorry for your situations, I really am. My mother and I used to be homeless and now she's entirely dependant on the government for survival. It's heartbreaking because as I grew older, I realized she had essentially done it to herself.
Yes, I think your attitude is a direct contributor to some of your problems. No, I don't think it's easy to have a good attitude when you're in the gutter. I wish I had more advice, but my options about these things are pretty comprehensive and this isn't the best place to dig into it.