Can you demonstrate, using numbers, that the tradeoff is positive?
> I cannot believe people are arguing for "efficiency" over traffic safety.
People prioritize efficiency over safety all the time. It's a good thing. So do you, if you support non-zero speed limits. The current animus against cell phone use while driving is the result of a moral panic, not a rational cost-benefit tradeoff.
> If I pull over to a safe place to use my phone, nobody is harmed.
Untrue. The act of pulling is itself is a complex maneuver that practically invites accidents. Most accidents occur at low speed, and often, when you pull over, you pull over into an area where pedestrians are active. It might be the case that pulling over instead of using a phone at a red light results in more people being injured or killed.
https://www.recyclingtoday.com/article/lytx-fleet-accidents-...
> My wife was rear-ended while waiting
Anecdotal personal misfortune is not an argument for society-wide policy.