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Comment by jcoffland | Hacker News Reader

One of the big problems I find is that when I call or text my male friends they often fail to respond. My female friends always respond. I've had multiple discussions with my male friends about this and my conclusion is that they are mostly overwhelmed with the responsibilities and demands of being a modern man. Friendship falls low on the priority list. I, like many men, want more camaraderie but it takes work that's difficult to commit to.

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I've had the same experience with my group of friends. I know it's a small sample size, but I wonder of that's a common contrast for most folks my age.

When I message/call/text/email my mail friends, I know there's a 1h-24h time window before I get a response. And that's if the message prompts a response. Otherwise, they'll address it next time in person, or just let it fly by. On the other hand, my female friends respond much quicker.

At the same time, I see my current girlfriend ALWAYS on her phone. There's always someone she's in contact with - because it's a priority for her to respond. My male friends when hanging out, are almost never texting/chatting on their phone unless something immediate demands attention. It's an interesting tradeoff

For some of my friends, I _know_ they are not overwhelmed with responsibility. But sometimes they just don't feel like it or are busy with other friends who I don't know. That's frustrating. I want to shake them. But sometimes I do it too and realize "Oh this is what my friends probably like when they don't respond."

For me I think the biggest barrier is housing proximity. All my friends live in different suburbs, which means on the weekend that's a 30m drive each way, and it's worse afterwork on the weekday. Sucks.

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