Dude, I would love more insights on this. I have trouble finding assistants for the most rudimentary stuff and am constantly looking for IT solutions. Please, please, please. Maybe an HN post?
I'll see if I can clean it up and finish it though; if you have any particular questions you'd like to see included (selfish: so I can feel like it's less braggy and more interesting), I'd love to hear them. Contact info is on profile if you don't want to derail this thread. :)