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You are much braver than me. I do not dare read a contract (or the explanation of one) as tongue in cheek.

If it's a joke, or sarcastic, why is it in a document labeled "Plain English Terms of Service?" For that matter, why follow it up with "You've been warned?"

>Has anyone ever seen them do anything like this?

No, I've never seen them do this. But at the same time, I'm not going to give them the opportunity.

a threat is only as good as your willingness to execute it. If they don't actually intend to, the threat is meaningless.