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Comment by thrav | Hacker News Reader

Anytime I discussed Free Solo with anyone, including my wife, my feelings about Alex couldn’t have been more opposite from theirs.

His bit about empathy and the fact that he’s, “just learning [his] lines” is probably relatable to many here.

His comments about deciding to solo mostly because he wasn’t comfortable asking anyone to climb with him, and didn’t want anyone to see him do something stupid, while ranking in the top 2% on the Mensa test.

I came away sympathetic — recognizing a kindred spirit who’s capable of a lot, but had a hard time fitting in with the world, while everyone else just saw a very impressive asshole.

Great article that builds on all of the personal dynamics present in the film.

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When I watched the movie with my girlfriend I thought that he was refreshingly honest with his feelings. My girlfriend on the other hand thought that he was just a selfish prick. Pretty interesting.

Was it a thought along the lines of him being selfish because his death (at any time) could leave his family without him?

I am not sure. I think it was more about him not expressing himself in the normally accepted ways. Which is something I can relate to.

There was also that whole bit about how he thought he should break up with her because he didn't belay him properly or something.

The guy has done some amazing feats, but he definitely seems as if he is on the spectrum.

“as if he is on the spectrum.”

Which makes him relatable to me and probably quite a few other programmers.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It is what it is. But I can see why that made him come across as cold towards his girlfriend.

> There was also that whole bit about how he thought he should break up with her because he didn't belay him properly or something.

Relationships have ended over a lot less than one person potentially ending the others career by being careless. It isn't a trivial thing where her technique was wrong, she fucking dropped him and he was lucky to only have a simple broken foot.

The more interesting quote to me was when talking about the guy they both knew who died free soloing. The gf said it must be awful for the wife, and Alex (iirc) said "well what did she expect?".

The two are not mutually exclusive.

I came away with the feeling that he sees things in the world very black and white, lacks empathy (but still tries), and doesn’t compromise on his view of the world. Some might view that as an admirable trait and that’s it’s important to be true to ones self, others might more negatively view it as isolationist, anti-social, or even as one commenter here put it “on the spectrum”. I don’t want to judge his personality too much or pick sides, but I can understand how his personality can be polarizing.

As far as free climbing goes, he’s on top of his game, and should be able to climb as he wishes I think. It’s his life, let him live it. But the list of dead free climbers that were once the best in the world, grows every year it seems....

I went to a Q&A with him after a showing in London and he was asked something around if the movie portrayed him accurately. His answer was more that they shot many hours over a long period of time and he never thought about how certain things he said would be perceived. I think he was suggesting that it was more a decision while editing to paint a picture in that way.

>I came away sympathetic — recognizing a kindred spirit who’s capable of a lot, but had a hard time fitting in with the world

If there's one thing I've learned about HackerNews, it's that everyone here is an exceptional but misunderstood genius.

>while everyone else just saw a very impressive asshole.

I don't know a single person who came away from this film with the impression that Alex Honnold is an asshole. Seems like an odd take, but nothing in today's world surprises me.

I thought he was an asshole. Quite apart from how he came across in the film exposing yourself to utterly needless danger is a very bad way to treat people who love you.

I get that perspective. Let me ask this: Do you feel the same way about the people in your life who smoke? or eat fast food? or don't exercise daily? or text while driving? I know you can say those are an accumulation of small dangers but it isn't like Honnold never climbed once and decided to free solo the hardest cliff in the world. Do you feel the same about race car drivers? NFL players? We all have our identity and a lot of time it is associated with the things we are good with.

I think there are plenty of people who are trying to get their loved ones to quit smoking.

But do they think of them as assholes because they are smoking? Or eating unhealthy food?

If you eat so badly that you die at 40, then yes that's just as bad as slipping off a rock. Look at it this way, let's say a guy gets married and then starts eating so many big macs every day that he's headed to the grave in a few years. My guess would be that his wife would hate him for that even more than if he was a solo climber.

For some of those things yes. Dangerous driving and smoking for me are reckless to the point of being blameworthy. I'm less sure about eating badly and not exercising but I'm not sure that's a difference of kind rather than degree (inasmuch as those things tend to be less harmful, or an instance is less harmful)

It's his life, if he chooses to do this instead of joining the military or being a firefighter or some traditionally acceptable form of risking your life, that's fine. He is not obligated to live the way 'the people who love him' want him to.

> exposing yourself to utterly needless danger is a very bad way to treat people who love you

He didnt ask those people to love him, their emotions are not his responsibility, he gets to live his life the way he wants to. That's his right of existence.

The only person in the movie who met Honnold before he started free soloing was his mother, and she seems fine with him doing it. Everyone else knew what they were signing up for. If anything, they're the selfish ones because they want him to stop doing what he loves.

Well he didn't treat his girlfriend particularly well through the film. He was never actively nasty to her, but he was dismissive and didn't appear too interested in her either.

Alex is the way he's always been, and she got into the relationship knowing that. I think it's quite selfish of her to expect him to change for her.

That's odd, in my group the main take away was how toxic she is to their relationship. It came across as if she attached herself to him in a way that came across as very manipulative. Demonstrated well in the house buying scene I think.

>but nothing in today's world surprises me.

there is no time in the world when it wasn't full of crazy.

Read the article. His girlfriend is literally quoted saying people think he is an asshole.

---

Traffic is heavy, giving us time to discuss the parts of his Free Solo persona with which he disagrees.

"Oh, the daredevil," he says.

"The asshole," Sanni says.

"No, no, I don't think that's part of the public persona."

"I think it is."

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