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Comment by mpfundstein | Hacker News Reader

Asking that question is the simple part. I am more curious what he actually does afterwards to reduce the stress..

I wouldn't dismiss the effect of simply asking the question. Often the boss can't do anything about it. But it's helpful for many employees to be at least heard.

I find that, almost all the time, in all of the places I have worked, I feel worse when a higher-up tries to make myself or the group feel less stressed. They have always, almost universally, tried to make it sound like it is not bad. Or they say, "Take time off, and do not respond to emails." And if you do that, the rest of the team gets crushed, and then you have an insane amount of work when you get back, which pretty much wipes out the time off (in 2 days or less).

Why would you respond to emails on vacation? If the rest of the team gets crushed when someone takes their allotted time off, there are bigger issues at play.

Yeah, being a hero can hide the real issues.

Exactly. Unless it is a temporary stressful time of the year (like a big ship date coming up), then coming back from vacation shouldn’t be resulting in the rest of the team getting crushed or you getting swamped on your first days back. In which case, i would personally postpone the vacation. I know that work shouldnt dictate personal vacation plans, but luckily it never feels this way for me, because big ship dates and crunch periods are so damn rare on my team. Worst case scenario i just postpone my vacation until the next month (my own choice), and then i go fully stress-free.

It never feels like i have to plan my vacations around work, and my previous manager was very strictly insisting on no emails or comms while you were on vacation, and i loved how it actually worked out.

Totally. For most humans the feeling of being listened to is already a huge step.

An inappropriate neck massage usually reduces the stress..

I actually had a boss who did this for me back in the 90s at a small startup... was definitely appreciated!

Relatedly, I've heard that in Helsinki they have some mobile saunas which are parked in front of businesses which are available for stressed out employees... not sure how true it is.

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