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Comment by Yajirobe | Hacker News Reader

Why are first world middle-upper class people suddenly so interested in stoicism?

IMHO, for the same reason many of them are interested in Buddhism. I think many middle-upper class people struggle to understand why they are not happy in spite of their material wealth. Buddhism, Stoicism, and other philosophies offer answers for how one can find happiness/satisfaction in life, irrespective of one's material possessions or status. I also think that Stoicism in particular may currently be popular because, in comparison to eastern philosophies, it is more grounded in traditional Western thought and may be easier for Westerners to understand. At least compared to my efforts to understand Taoism, for example.

I'm sure there are many different reasons but I expect a common one is because our worlds have become deeply intertwined with online stuff. And online stuff is, almost entirely, fake. Not fake as it not real (though there is plenty of that) but posturing, signaling, image crafting, and all of this other fakeness to try to achieve some frequently superficial end or another. And piled on top of this is a hoard of companies all seemingly happy to create a dystopia to get people to click on ads so they can make a few more bucks to...? When you take a step back and look at it 'from a distance' it's all just so unimaginably absurd, and fake.

When 'soul searching' for whatever 'real' actually is, it's quite easy to end up in the classics of philosophy and, in one way or another, stoicism.

The world feels very uncertain for the middle-class these days, especially in an economic sense, which is one that strikes right at the heart of one's "locus of control". It doesn't offer the same kind of promise or opportunity as it did 40 years ago, and risks are advertised constantly. Stoic teachings have broad applicability: Epictitus(my favorite flavor) says to control the things you can control, and to not worry about the rest.

There is a patriarchal thread to some of this, as Stoicism could be interpreted in a "men's rights" sense of asserting dominion and gender roles. But focusing on "the way things should be" is rather a false way of going about it, since there's also a thread of mutually respecting struggle and self-mastery in the Stoic philosophers. There isn't a point in Stoicism where the status quo ever becomes OK, where you are "good enough". There is only another form of struggle to be had.

In my case it's not about uncertainty. I am rich, I've got cash, I've assets. I can buy whatever I want, I can use and consume any forbidden drug.

They sell me fake world. Then my fake world breaks like a shattered mirror and suddenly I am helpless, feeling pain, depressed, turning towards drugs.

Why I am so unhappy with my life? Because I am not born with exceptionally good looks, I see my girlfriend chasing guy who looks better than me but isn't as successful as me? Should I be happy about it? The girls who come for me, want resources - they fake love well. Suddenly, love disappears if I stop paying bills.

As a man with means, I can choose to take mind altering drug and numb myself down but I choose to handle psychological pain through philosophy and self realization.

I want to accept things as they are. I don't feel wronged, betrayed, I don't hold grudge towards anyone. I accepted the fact, what people are doing around me are doing whatever they want to do, whatever they feel serves their interest. This way of thinking can't be toxic.

The ones I thought I loved, cheated on me with prisoner (life destroyed but looks big and dangerous), another cheated with some banker (huge debts but exceptionally good looks)

Here's a certainly not contemplative answer which would suit HN best:

If money is no problem and you've correctly narrowed your problems down to your looks (here's where you might be wrong), plastic surgery is very effective.

I am happy with my looks, there will always be people far more successful, far more handsome - I've made peace with that long ago.

I am in A++ health, won't risk it for any surgery.

Are you ugly looking? You’re probably just exposed in the wrong crowd of girls

Women are people too, and just as men many of them can have lousy characters. I know that it's easy to say, but you should be more aware and discerning about who you associate yourself with. Before those girls cheated on you, there were probably some clues that they aren't the most wholesome persons in the world.

For example, I'm sure as hell that if I were a woman, I wouldn't date Steve Jobs. He had tons of signs of a terrible person, and even when speaking in terms of my own self-interest I would have no guarantee that he wouldn't cheat on me or dump me at his earliest convenience.

It's been popularized, and I don't think that's a bad thing.

It has spread fairly organically because it's not a bad starting point for a philosophy of life. I was introduced to the concept through Tim Ferris' podcast. He suggested as "a good default OS for your mind". I was having some personal difficulties at the time, and it really helped.

It also tends to slot in quite well alongside mindfulness practices, which have also become popular lately.

I guess it's because first world middle/upper-middle class are the most anxious of all social strata, because they have to constantly struggle with maintaining their social standings and that their children would not fall down, which is extremely hard, mostly because in first world middle/upper middle class kids have to compete with all other children in the same or lesser social standings and they usually don't have competitive edge. If u.s. society is a caste system, where upper middle class kids don't have to compete with middle class kids, and middle class kids don't have to compete with middle lower class people, where each class has its cultural/religious/socioeconomic/political moat to keep lower class people from getting in, people in general would not feel that level of anxiousness.

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