This sounds like you want to have, as Francis Schaeffer put it, "a mysticism with nobody there". You want the assurance of some guiding hand (God or god-like) controlling what happens, but without any guiding hand actually there.

That is, without someone there to have a purpose or intent, there is no "needed to" or "should", there is only what did happen. This sounds like an attempt to have the emotional comfort of someone there, without actually believing that someone is actually there.