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Comment by DaniloDias | Hacker News Reader

As a teenager- I decided I would wait till I was 22 before I tried Marijuana. All of my friends were heavy users- and while that made me feel like a bit of an outsider, I had come to the conclusion that it was better to wait and see how using turned out for them before I joined in.

That decision was profoundly informative. My high school friends personal and professional trajectories have been severely hobbled. I don’t believe that weed is the sole factor, but it certainly didn’t help them become more ambitious or contribute to their fortitude.

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Indeed, I succumbed to the habit as a teenager, when I was indoctrinated by full time users who were also my peers who abused my physically in pre teen years. Upon starting marijuana usage with these peers, they saw that I reacted to the substance and proceeded to abuse me psychologically. This planted the seeds necessary to catalyze a lifetime of delusion and exploration of waste and dipping my toes into counter culture. Now almost entirely alone and disconnected from any meaningful social roots, and suicidal much of the way, I’ve long since disconnected from such malicious people.

The group of friends from high school who didn’t use marijuana ostracized me by 18 and I stopped being alive since then. Now I’m in my 40’s and have been preparing for suicide with increasing inevitability since starting weed. I “gave up” on a fulfilled life as a teenager and have coasted my way to an inevitable suicide as a “stoner”.

Hang in there. The flow state you can get from both coding and math are very nourishing.

You'd feel a kinship with the author of Psalm 13.

For every time I've been caught in the place described in the first four verses, Christ has gifted me to see the other side in the last ones.

There's only one way to be sure you'll never have a chance to rejoice like that, and I pray both that you'll seek help before it comes to that, and that you'll be granted the same joy it describes.

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