Is this consistent with other people's experience? Do people start successful companies after they've had kids? Is it hard to get investment?
A lot of people already have kids and do a very poor job at it -- giving them little time. Having a kid nowadays it's mostly a decision you can make. It isn't worth to bring to the world yet another kid that will by age 12 hate their parents and have huge emotional issues as they grow, because papa and mama were busy with their careers.
So, I'd say, only do properly one thing. Other people will say that they get better at this or that, or that it is reasonable. I don't find that possible at all. I have a dog and my duties(cleaning, cooking, exercising, full-time job etc) and my wife already takes up all my time and makes me wish I had more time to spend with them.
I also want to have a kid, but after weighting down those things, I think it is unfair: there is no way me + wife can give the same amount of time my parents(mainly mother) gave me. The current way society works kind of sucks in that regard. We can barely afford rent and basic expenses even though we both went to college and got better jobs than our parents.
Exactly the reason why we haven't yet decided to have a kid.
All my past few software jobs have been multi geo and that really kills any sort of me time that you can devote to yourself and family. After reaching home, again there are calls in the evenings. I have given up any hope of finding a software job that lets me work in one geo in one timezone. If I don't like my evenings, I am not so sure the kid is going to like it with me either!
I still have fun memories of spending great time with my parents after they were both home in the evening, I just can't see that happening. I also know how much important a part that time sharing played in my growing years.
I think if I can't devote that kind of time to the child, it is better not to have one.
Raising a kid is a serious responsibility, just like anything else one deeply cares about.
That said, I recently became a father again (after a big gap) and surprisingly I manage my time way better now - yes, it’s challenging but also brings about laser focus and in my opinion forced work-home balance.
But people certainly do it and succeed. Many YC founders have had young children.
What helps is; 1) I WFH so I am about for school run and I can work before and after dinner easily plus school events as its a 5 min drive. 2) My partner works shift work usually 3 days so housework is largely done by them. Plus occasional 1 shift weeks so I schedule travel around these periods. 3) You dont have to work 24/7. I tend to work from 9-4 then 8-12. So I get morning and afternoon with kids. I'll close that gap if needed but that leaves plenty of time for kids. 4) I live on a small farm so I feel this keeps a balance as most days I'll be out feeding animal or doing something physical. This way I dont mind being screen heavy. Also I can do activities with the family form the doorset like ride horses/dirt bike or do a quick bush walk etc.
I find the biggest issues; 1) is ability to take holidays. To shut shop for a few weeks is near impossible in my current situation so I take a laptop everywhere. I feel this is the biggest impact. 2) With consultant work it limits time for the other business. If my partner was a better earner I might focus on the side business full time but seems too risky. I might be more risk friendly here without a family but not incredibly so.
A'so, a bit deep, but whats important to you? I look at the time with my family and would prefer to earn a middle wage with that than be the world first trillionaire without. Obviously everyone is unique here but I would prefer to have less money and more children.
Communication is key for this, your spouse has to be 100% on board or there is going to be resentment on one side or another.
Unfortunately, when you have a family, any time you put towards work will take away from your family - there is just no way around that. Even if you're with your family, if you're on your phone then your kids and spouse will notice that.
The key for me was to find a great location. (countryside + 10 minutes from school/daycare + good internet connection)
Leaving the Bay Area was the right thing to do...