Guilt tripping and shaming your friend isn't productive. He is just going to get defensive or feel bad. People when pushed into that state of mind don't exactly effect change or are open to change.
If you don't want to be political, there are plenty of other companies to work at where people won't force politics on you for working there.
At least you're open about the fact that guilt tripping and shaming is not about trying to change behavior.
Feeling bad about it usually has the outcome of avoiding the person making them feel bad about it, not changing behavior. And while I don't have any hard scientific data, the consensus in the world of negotiation is that overt guilt tripping is often less effective than not discussing the topic at all (i.e. guilt tripping increases the chance the undesired behavior will occur).
>If you don't want to be political, there are plenty of other companies to work at where people won't force politics on you for working there.
Putting the particular case of Facebook aside, my recommendation is always to avoid people who force politics onto you because of where you work. They are usually the least objective.
That's only true if you didn't read the next two sentences. My point was that feeling bad is the mechanism that guilt-trippers and shamers are trying to utilize.
I'm sure guilt and shame don't work well in negotiations. I don't know whether that translates to shaping society or influencing your friends. Personally, I don't do it because that's not how I want to treat my friends.
I understood it well. What we both agree on is that it will make them feel bad. What we disagree on is this statement of yours:
>This will tend to make them more interested in leaving the company.
Now I don't want to claim 0 correlation. There sometimes is a weak correlation. There is also often a negative correlation (they'll stay longer at Facebook with guilt tripping than with no peer pressure at all). I'm not an academic, so I don't have the studies at hand.
>I'm sure guilt and shame don't work well in negotiations. I don't know whether that translates to shaping society or influencing your friends.
It's a fallacy to treat negotiations as distinct from friendship. I think you're confusing bargaining with negotiations. You engage in negotiations with almost every person you interact with - friends, spouses, children, parents, coworkers, charities, etc. Want to have dinner with a friend? When and where? That's a negotiation. An ordinary person will negotiate a few times a week at a minimum. The discipline of negotiations encompass these interactions.
Negotiations courses/books often spend time on how your negotiation strategy will impact your relationship with the other person, and which strategies may help or harm the relationship. They don't suggest one never use guilt tripping - they merely suggest not to use it if you want to maintain a relationship with the other person.
Marshall Rosenberg on the subject - "We all pay dearly when people respond to our values and needs, not out of their own desire, but out of fear, guilt, or shame. Sooner or later, we will experience the consequences of diminished goodwill on the part of those who comply with our values out of a sense of either external or internal coercion. They, too, pay emotionally, for they are likely to feel resentment and decreased self-esteem when they respond to us out of fear, guilt, or shame. Furthermore, each time others associate us in their minds with any of those feelings, we decrease the likelihood of their responding compassionately to our needs and values in the future."
The more productive way to do things is to just focus the conversation on your needs and values. And leave it at that. Don't bring judgement/blame/demands/guilt/shaming etc into the picture and then watch the difference in how people respond to your political positions.
Maybe if we want people to stop working for Facebook we should run a Facebook ad campaign micro-targeted at Facebook employees using the personal information they shared with Facebook.
He said that there’s a lot of internal conflict and debate about certain scandals, but that he doesn’t get involved.