Isn't that an oxymoron?
If the user interface is usable and snappy, it is probably fine that it consumes twice as many resources as a similar native app would require for the same result.
Example: Slack.app is a huge memory hog (though not as bad as it was before their rewrite), but it fits decently into OS X and does not lag on me.
I have lots of RAM, so the extra consumption is fine.
Sure, it annoys some programmers that it could be more efficient, but other than them, who cares? Those guys are probably using Emacs or a CLI program as their client anyway.
(I must be a rare breed, since I do email, writing, and programming in Emacs, but not chat)
I switched from Sublime to VS Code and went from 20MB of RAM usage to 500. Add slack, add discord, you now have GBs of RAM getting eaten up just for the UIs. Most mid-range laptops still only have 8GB of RAM, add a browser to the mix and it's a constant battle to have everything running smoothly, the programs frequently crash due to memory issues. It's a real problem and not solely programmer efficiency-OCD.
My laptop has 8 gigs of RAM, and I run many programs simultaneously (usually including several codebase analysis servers behind Emacs, a VirtualBox VM or two, Slack, and of course tens of Chrome tabs, several in development mode), but I don't have anything like the problems you describe. I do use The Great Suspender aggressively in Chrome and that does help a lot.
My Emacs instance itself is extremely tricked out with extensions and usually weighs in between 100 and 200 MB of RAM. Maybe that's the difference - sounds like VS Code eats a lot more.
I'm on a MacBook Pro from 2015 at work, if memory serves.
What setup are you running that handles your needs so poorly?
No wonder I don't have issues.
I hope tab suspension helps you. It certainly made Chrome more usable for me (but I do have a bad habit of getting to fifty or seventy tabs open).
Even worse it's using significant amounts of video card memory, and I have a tenth as much of that.
And then the IDE of another guy does its indexing really fast zillions of times per second, great, but then another guy sits there waiting for "git status" to complete for several minutes.