Hacker News Reader

Comment by asveikau | Hacker News Reader

I was thinking about something like this recently.

I am a father of two kids. I can be walking on the sidewalk with my kids, and see another parent, maybe a mom, smile and say hello, it's totally fine.

Same situation, but maybe my kids are not with me, maybe they're in school. Suddenly I'm a strange man saying hello at a mom and her kids. A real danger situation! Hold onto your bag, hold the kids extra tight, reach for the pepper spray. But I am the same person in both situations.

But mindful of this, I keep a respectful distance in the latter case.

View on HN

This is such an exclusively American problem.

Disagree. Plenty of perverts in many countries. Do some googling about the guys in trench coats on trains in Japan.

The reaction was typically American, I believe was the suggestion. There are perverts everywhere, but people not subject to American levels of fearmongering don't typically visualise child rape and reach for a weapon when another human smiles at their child.

Well there was a gender thing implicit in my comment and I feel I have witnessed it across cultures. Unfortunately in this case I think for a lot of women the defensiveness is shaped by real experiences.

On the other hand if you remove the question of gender I would have to admit that many in the US are more guarded with strangers than people tend to be in other places I've been.

I believe this was less about perverts than about pervert awareness or whatever it should be called

The other American problem is completely unsocialized kids. Children are kept with their family or in tightly controlled social environments. They never experience unstructured environments or adults not from their family.

From time to time, a colleague brings their child to work (because childcare fell through, or something), and they get to interact with strangers! It's weird, they are afraid, they don't know what to say, they generally don't know how to conduct themselves. Oftentimes they are distractingly loud, can't entertain themselves and generally annoy everyone within earshot. And since you are not a parent you are not supposed to discipline the little shits!

Soon they are teenagers and enter the working environment, still without social experience. The Apocalypse is on its way.

Kids are sometimes shy. Kids are sometimes loud. This happens irrespective of how socialized they are or aren't. They all go through these phases and they're figuring it out. Please refrain from assuming the worst, calling them "little shits" and maybe consider calming down a tad.

i agree that it's unfortunate that kids are so often isolated from adults. however, "disciplining" has a connotation of force, so you may want to reframe that to redirecting behavior and attention positively. parents usually don't mind the latter.

and to the OP's point, i'm not a particularly social person, but i love smiling and waving at babies. it's as rewarding to you as it is to the baby. =)

New generation bad my generation good! The world's gonna end when those kids grow up.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com