I wanna earn money doing FP work, too!
Of course, Common Lisp spoiled me beyond words. I've tried OCaml the other day. It might be a good language, but I can't seem to make it integrate nicely with the Emacs workflow that I was used to from Common Lisp. You need ;; at the end of your expression when in the REPL, but not when building a standalone app in OCaml. When compiling it's considered bad practice to put ;; But without it, the REPL doesn't know where the expression ends. Or something like that, anyway.
Same story with Prolog. It might be a good language, but there are all sorts of special cases and exceptions when working with it interactively. I've gotten so much used to working interactively, to have a live, one-on-one honest conversation with my language and environment that languages without it seem brain-dead somehow.
I agree with your "terrible regression" comment.