Does anyone have any advice for improving on this front?
"My emails tend to be too long. Does anyone have tips on writing concise emails?"
Obviously your post was not an email, so the additional, narrative context you provided is welcome. In emails you should aim to provide just the key info, and to elaborate on any context in other forms of communication/documentation. I typically try to aim for just 2 lines of content. One is a statement of fact or a problem, the other is a question or a 'call to action'. I break this rule often, but I always pause to think if there is really a good reason to stray from that rule or if I'm just ranting/chatting.
Often if people want context they'll come find you or call you.
> Frequent readers here know I write verbosely. I communicate clearly, but few people finish reading my messages. Any advice?
William Zinsser's book, On Writing Well, covers this topic. I recommend it.
This is the title of one of the chapters in “Writing without bullshit”, hilariously followed by the first paragraph: “Use fewer words”.
Other tips from the book:
* Edit everything
* Aim for a word count
* Say what you really mean
* Start boldly
* Organize relentlessly
* Prune sections and arguments
* Use bullets or tables
* Use graphics
* Trim connective tissue
* Delete weasel-words and qualifiers
"Omit needless words! Omit needless words! Omit needless words!"
https://www.brusselslegal.com/article/display/2563/Tip_2_Omi...
13. Don't be repetitious; don't repeat the same thing twice; repeating is superfluous (redundancy means the useless explanation of something the reader has already understood).
http://gioclairval.blogspot.com/2010/02/umberto-ecos-rules-f...
* Look at the emails you receive that you feel do a good job of being concise. What do they have in common? What do you do differently from those emails? Start applying those differences when you write emails.
* Look at the emails you receive that you feel don't do a good job of being concise, or are confusing otherwise (perhaps they're too concise). Open the email in an editor and make changes until you eliminate the problem areas. Can you make similar changes in your own emails?
As a more concrete example, I originally had this text in the above paragraph:
> Open the email in an editor and make the changes you would want to see until you see the email you wished you received
I then revised it to:
> Open the email in an editor and make changes until you eliminate the problem areas.
In this and other cases, messages can be improved with better handling of the sentence's subject(s), tense, etc.
I think the Blaise Pascal quote about not having the time is relevant; making things concise takes more effort, particularly if you are not already in the habit of doing so already. Start with your communication, remove redundant or unnecessary words, then think about ways to compact things down even further by removing or rephrasing sentences.
Going through "Elements of Style" by Strunk & White wouldn't hurt too.
Made me chuckle.
Taking your message on it's own, you have the ability to keep the message size small.
Keep to the point, avoid distraction, stay focused, replace three words with two where two will suffice, replace two words with one where fitting. Omit needless words, make each word count.
https://hbr.org/2016/11/how-to-write-email-with-military-pre...
When reading what you've written, find the core of what you're really trying to say. Find the sentence or couple of sentences that conveys this core. Then see if the other sentences are really needed, removing those that aren't, tweaking the core as you go along.
Repeat until you feel it can no longer be distilled further.